And she turns 10...

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Wife, Daughter & the Chair

So this happened on Dec 26th, 2018 in Bodh Gaya at about 2 pm. But this blog post has no significance to the day, place or time actually except I remember because there is a dedicated travel blog-post (call that free marketing for my travelogue blog!)

It was extremely hot even though it was winter. In fact, the wintry chill only commenced after the sunset. We were walking from the main Bodh Gaya attraction (Peepal Tree in Mahabodhi Temple) towards the Giant Buddha statue and we were famished at that time as we had a light breakfast. Plus the walk in the sun had drained us all out completely. My eyes fell on a seemingly South-Indian restaurant because it was called Tirupati South cafe. It had both an indoor and an outdoor setting, and we chose the shaded outside because there was a nice breeze under the restaurant's shelter. 

I washed my hands at the wash-basin, arrived at one of the tables and took a seat while my daughter and wife went to the washroom. I relaxed and stretched after all the walking and tried to get some breather. After a few minutes, my daughter came and asked me if I could move and take another seat, as she wanted the same chair upon which I was sitting. I got annoyed at her and asked her to adjust in one of the other seats that were around the round table, and I didn't wanted to be disturbed since I had already sat. She meekly chose one of the other chairs.

The waiter came and asked if we were ready to order, and we chose full thalis. The clay pot for the bread was right close to us (outside) and it was fascinating to see the cook masterfully rolling the dough until it became paper-thin and tossed and weaved it on the long stick which he then used to place it deep inside the clay pot. The waft of the bread was alluring and we were waiting for the order eagerly. I asked my daughter to go near the clay pot and see how the cook prepared naan and rotis.

After some time, my wife came from the washroom towards the table where I was sitting and asked me to move to a different chair. Just when I obliged, my daughter too came back to the table and saw what just happened, and she asked me, "How come you shifted out of your chair when Ma told you to and you didn't when I told you to?"

It may seem strange but this question took me completely off-guard. In fact, I hadn't even realized that I complied to my wife without any questions but I completely ignored my daughter's exact same request, and even annoyingly scorned at her for asking me to shift after I had already sat. My whole action of having shifted the seat after my wife asked was done as if in sub-conscious trance-state despite the fact that I was tired and I didn't wanted to be disturbed out of my seat.

So, while I blabbered something to my daughter as a response, I thought of a reason as to why I did what I did. Several questions rummaged through me - 

1. Do I love my wife more than my daughter?

2. Do I take my daughter for granted?

3. Why couldn't I say the same thing to my wife (that I told my daughter) and be scornful to her too?

4. But then, why was I scornful to my daughter in the first place?

5. Was I afraid of my wife not taking my 'No' as a response as against the way my daughter would? 

6. Have I stopped saying 'No' to my wife?

7. Was I just abiding to my own promise of taking best care of my wife's needs?

8. Do I care for my wife's happiness more than anything else in the world - even if I had to be disturbed?

Frankly, I had no right answer. It was a mix of all of the above plus more, I guess. 

I felt nice for what I did to my wife though, really, but repented for having said no to my daughter in the first place. So, I made up for it by getting her an ice-cream for dessert! 

And then, we lived happily ever after!

😊

The Midas Touch to the Newspaper

 My daughter's friend (aged 6) and my daughter (aged 9) were scribbling all over the newspaper today and going gaga about it. They were breaking into fits of laughter and doubling over. It was so much fun just to see them. All they had with them was a black pen, one for each of them, and sheets of Times of India newspaper including the Bangalore Times. 

After a while, they both came running to me and showed what they had done:

1. They had blackened all occurrences of the word "Covid" on the main sheet.

2. There was a photo of a model, barely-clad, and the girls had drawn a dress and covered up all the exposed skin.

Just goes to show how easily two young kids can understand negativity and not-so-nice stuffs to something good! It is such a little act and yet so portentous - loads of learning for the Editorial staff of major dailies.

Integrity Personified

After almost a month- and half-long lock-down due to Corona virus, my wife and I finally stepped out to the 'outside world', thanks to my daughter's school asking us to collect the books for her upcoming grade. They asked only one parent to visit the school and collect the books. I took my wife along in the car since there were other things to do. We reached school and since it was way too hot to sit inside the car, I asked her to accompany me and sit inside the school premises under shade. She complied and we started climbing the steps towards the school gate.

The guard who was sitting on his chair informed us gently that only one parent was allowed but when he heard my reasoning, he agreed to let us both in. While my wife was searching for the right spot to sit, the guard took his chair and placed it near her and asked her to use it. Even though we refused, he wouldn't have any of it. He insisted and left us both. So my wife sat and I went inside.

It took me a little while to get the books and I finally came out. The whole thing had lasted about 10-15 minutes. And then, my wife and I made way back to the car. The guard was standing near the car, and we thanked him for the chair and told him again there had been no need to give away his sitting position and instead stand under the hot sun. But he just smiled away and said "It's ok, sir. That's my duty."

We smiled back and sat in the car and drove off. But, on reflection, that was not his duty at all. What he did was purely out of his humane character. It somehow felt very odd to show so much respect to my wife and me even though he was several decades older than us.

Our next stop was at a flour mill shop. It was more than a month since we had jowar flour and thanks to the lock-down, jowar flour was not so easily available either. Instead we had got jowar and with the help of the mill, we intended to get the flour. It was a simple 5 minute task and upon asking how much, he said Rs 8. My wife gave him Rs 10 and asked him not to return the change but the owner insisted and gave back the Rs 2. 

As we loaded the jowar flour into the car and drove off, we wondered how people can be so full of integrity. With almost 40 days of no customers in the mill shop, he could have definitely taken anything extra that came his way and yet he refused to take even a Rupee more than what it costed him.

By this time, the sun was blazing upon us. I stopped at an ATM kiosk on my way and withdrew some wads of cash since I had ran out of it during the lock-down. Right beside it was a sugarcane juice shop. We ordered 2 cups for ourselves and a half-liter bottle for those at home. The total came to Rs 105, and he said Rs 100. 

Boink! How come everyone was so nice and goody in this world. We just underwent a complete lock-down and economic impact was tremendous, especially for the small and petty shop owners. And yet, just like any other day, these folks were either taking exactly what they were taking before the economic crisis or rounding off to the lower ceiling. My wife and I just couldn't get it. It was time for us to insist this time around and we gave his due share, and left.

Finally, it was time to head back home. On our way back, we reflected on these three characters we had met today - the security guard who relinquished his throne even though that was not his duty, the flour mill owner who refused to take Rs 2 extra and the sugarcane juice owner who quoted Rs 5 less than the actual price. 

Three simple characters, three simple events and yet what a great and profound example of integrity and humbleness! We were literally dumb-founded at the day's experience.

I remember seeing an old Kannada movie of Narasimharaju's where he is stranded at a petrol station with no money, and some nice well-wisher agrees to pay for his fuel expenses. At that time, Narasimharaju says - "Thank you so much, sir! It is because of people like you that we get timely rain, wind, harvest & crops. Let the Almighty keep you in good stead!" 

Those were the exact words on my lips for all these three great gentlemen, except that I didn't say it out loud...but I wish them the same.

The Harpic Man

So, I was cleaning our bathroom commode and my daughter was seeing me. Suddenly she said -

"Papa, that's not the way to do it. You need to put the nozzle inside the inner edges."
Me: "How do you know how to clean the commode?"
She: "I have seen the Harpic Man do it."

At this time, I realized she was talking about an ad on TV. I don't watch much TV and hence was not familiar with any specific ad that she was referring to.

Me: "What Harpic Man?"
She: "His name is Akshay."

I then realized she was talking about Akshay Kumar's Harpic ad (here and here). Although my daughter saw TV to watch her fav kids' episodes, she was still not familiar with the names of all Bollywood heroes yet, so I was curious to know how she knew Akshay Kumar.

Me: "Now, how do you know his name?"
She: "He gets down a bus and one of the ladies exclaim, 'Akshay!'"

Back in the 90s when he started off in Bollywood movies & when I was my daughter's age, he was the Action Hero. And 3 decades later, I get to hear of the same Action Hero as The Harpic Man.

🙂

Stressful Meetings

During Corona lockdown times...

My 9-year old daughter: "Your meetings are so stressful."
Me: "Huh? I am not stressed."
She: "Stressful for me, not you."
Me: "How is it stressful for you?"
She: "I have to wear headphones to watch when you get onto meetings, and I don't like to wear headphones."

Me: ROFL

Light & Joy

My daughter was studying for her Computer test and there was a portion in her text book about LED vs CRT monitors. So I started explaining to her about LED and CRT - at least to what extent I knew. And then my eyes fell on the Tubelight in our room and I told her that this was an LED tubelight. I told her about the advantages of the LED tubelight and how it turns on immediately when we switch the light compared to the Fluorescent tubelight that we had in our previous home which used to take a couple of seconds to fully light on. And then this is how our conversation went - 

She: "Yeah, yeah, I remember. I miss that tubelight so much!"

Me: "Huh? Why? Since that light used to take a few seconds to turn on, we bought these LED tubelights!"

She: "Yeah, but in those few seconds, I had so much fun! It was like a dance party!"

I was speechless! Because at that instant I realized what we think as a technological advancement is actually burying our kids' joys! I mean, in a few years' time she is going to completely forget about the Fluorescent tubelights and their flickering. In fact, we as kids used to have so much fun & giggles calling our classmates as 'Tubelight' in case someone is slow in grasping just for this exact reason that a tubelight takes a few seconds to fully turn on. All those jokes are no longer applicable now with the advent of LED tubelights! 

In fact, even the Salman Khan starrer Tubelight is also made on this exact concept. Speaking of which, now if someone Googles Tubelight, the only thing we get to see on the first page is about the movie, not the electrical light emitting device! Poor Tubelight (the fluorescent one, I mean) is getting whacked down and down to the point of extinction! 

This also reminded me of what my wife always says how much fun she used to have when the power used to get turned off. In my childhood, when the BESCOM turned the power off which was a regular thing for months together especially in summer due to lack of water and hence lack of Hydroelectric power generation - usually called as 'Load-shedding' - I used to get irritated. Because that meant, I had to study under the candlelight, get bitten by mosquitos or even miss watching cricket on TV. But on the other hand, my wife apparently always had fun whenever there was load-shedding. In fact they were waiting for the 'current to go' - as we say in local language - because all kids could enjoy in the dark night under the moonlit & starlit sky. 

That's when I realized that the kids nowadays hardly get to see moonlight nor starlight. Stars yes maybe here and there some nights, but moonlight & starlight so rare. With the technological advent of Uninterrupted Power Supply (UPS) and Inverters, especially in apartments, kids hardly experience loss of electricity and power outages. And as such, they never get to see the dark night and amaze at the beauty of it nor even play in moonlight/starlight. 

Lo and behold, there goes one more childhood joy due to technological advancement...

😔

"Sammy!"

I was just scrolling through my latest posts and I see nowadays it is mostly about kids and their wonderful talks! And here goes another...

A couple of elderly grannies were sitting on the porch of our apartment lobby in the open air with apparently one of the granny's two-year-old granddaughter who was walking here and there, pointing at moving cars, autos, etc. And right there, another mommy happened to cross by with her own two-year-old daughter in the toy-like pram which the mommies can easily push around and at the same time go walking. So, this first one pointed at the second one and the second one's attention too got withheld by the first one - which seemed like a common setup because kids get usually attracted to one another for some reason and start playing around! 

Looking at this scene where the kids are trying to point one to the other, the grannies prodded the first one to say 'Akka' (Kannada translation of 'Sister') which is a common term used for other girl kids. And the mother tried to say the same thing to her daughter and prodded the second one to say 'Didi' (Hindi translation of 'Sister'). While the adults are trying to make the kids get accustomed to learn the customary greetings, the neurons in the first one's brain finally clicked and she pointed to the second one with renewed confidence and blurted out:

"Sammy!" 

While the grannies were still trying to make out why she said that although they were trying to make her say 'Akka', it was time for the mother's neurons to click now: Sammy was indeed her daughter's name and she realized that Sammy and this other girl were actually classmates in the daycare! So the first one actually recognized Sammy and even Sammy had actually recognized the first one - in an ambience outside of the usual classroom, which is actually remarkable - although not to the extent of having remembered the name as quickly as the former! So, now that the mother understood the context, she then started explaining the whole thing to the grannies who finally got it too!

I was waiting at the lobby for my elevator while this whole thing got played out right in front of me, and it seemed fascinating to me how couple of toddlers who did not even know how to talk could make the adults understand what they had already recognized and how, even as adults, we so easily fail to understand our kids sometimes. 

Here, the adults were trying to teach something to the kids but the kids finally ended up teaching something to the adults...!

😊