Las Vegas & Me

Las Vegas has been touted as the most popular city in the World. 

My first visit to this city happened when I was a bachelor in 2005, aged 25. Needless to say, at that age and time of my life, it was mind-boggling. Just walking along the Strip was mesmerizing. So many dazzling lights, glamorous people all around - it was a like different world altogether. So fascinating and fabulous. And I remember thinking how they made this Oasis in the middle of a desert, almost like a Black Hole where every one lands up for a party, conference or an event.

My second visit was with my wife in 2009. I wanted her to experience the same state of "mesmerization" that I felt, and indeed, it took her breath away too. She wanted to see each and every casino on the Strip, so I remember running from one to the other, exhausted, taking pics!

My third visit was with my wife and daughter in 2012 but this was not a trip for Vegas. The city just happened to come in transit on our way back from the National Parks of Utah back to our the then home in Irvine, CA. So, we ended up on a night halt, did not walk much on the Strip with the toddler but visited some kid friendly casino for some nice magic tricks and games.

My fourth visit was again with my wife and daughter in 2016, and again, it was in-transit, this time to Antelope Canyon. However, we spent the first and last night/day of the vacation in Vegas and we did end up showing some of the Strip's nice casinos to the daughter - like the Bellagio fountain, Eiffel Tower, etc. 

My fifth visit was alone, this year, 2023. This was, for the first time, not a vacation. It was a Business trip to attend a conference and give a presentation. I was put up in The Venetian. Such lavishness and grandeur. I thanked my stars for such an opportunity. After the conference, in the evening, we colleagues ventured out on the Strip only for a short stroll but headed back soon enough, since we had had enough of it.

And by that time, I mean, so many things - the stench & clouded smoke on the pavement, of either the drugs or the cigar smoke I know not which; the hoardings with semi-nude people admiring body parts, drunk girls on limos not even conscious of where they were heading to, people begging on pavements for money to drink or get drugged out, etc..

At that moment, my whole image of this 'Fabulous Las Vegas' fell right flat on the ground. This literally was Hell on Earth, where Human Consciousness was at its lowest ebb ever. People smoking, drinking, getting drugged out and I guess all in pursuit of happiness whereas they were all eventually downgrading themselves to stoops of stupidity. This is the place where body parts are glorified 100x as if that is the Ultimate Joy for Human Beings. This reminded me of a scene in the movie Idiocracy where there is a theatre of humans watching a big screen which is showing only the human ass for the entire duration of the movie and all are laughing like zombies! Such low state of human consciousness, indeed! And it is no less in any casinos - one can see zombies putting coins after coins into slot machines and just punching again and again...! I almost felt pity for those who stayed here, came here...!

It was not hard for me to compare this place to so many sacred places in India where I could literally feel my aura, my subtle body getting cleansed especially in Mantralaya after the dip in Tunga river or in Tirumala after the dip in Swamipushkarni, listening to Vedic hymns, seeing the sun rise. One could feel the purity in such places, one could feel one getting purified just being in such places. It was like Human Consciousness getting elevated! Now, that is the feeling of Heaven. Such an opposite, appalling experience in Vegas!

And this whole U-turn of my emotions in just 5 visits spanning less than 2 decades. The city had remained the same, its vibes, the energy, the genre of tourists, etc. from 2005 till 2023, maybe more casinos but my perception of what the city had to offer had changed completely...

Public Speaking

I have always been terrified of Public Speaking. Being an introvert, going up on the stage and keeping the audience engaged is something that I have never been fond of, or even remotely inclined. So when I was in 8th grade, my English teacher forced me to participate in a debate where each side of the opposition has to go on stage and speak either for or against a topic. I remember the topic was TV, and I made notes (which I was good at), and when it was my turn, I went to the stage, took my notes and read through the entire thing without making even a single eye contact to anyone! That was my first experience!

When I got into college, there was a huge new auditorium with a nice big podium and I was wondering how it would be to stand here and give an inspiring speech, while confidently & comfortably knowing I would never have to do it! But I did end up on that podium in my final year to participate in another debate with a handful of audience, and, thank God the acoustics sucked(!) since many folks could not even hear what we were talking on the mic.

And then I used to see many actors/actresses going on the stage in front of hundreds of people and talking so effortlessly, fluently and even making jokes, and wondered how did they do it. Like in Oscars or Filmfare Awards or even talk shows like Ted Talk or Stand-up comedy. 

When I got into the corporate life, I used to see Account Managers, clients from US who were doing the same thing albeit it was more work-related. Although there were many opportunities for me to get into ToastMasters club, somehow I found excuses not to enrol! Few more years later, I distinctly remember one of my peers sharing a picture of herself giving a technical speech in a conference in US, and this moved me the most. It made me proud of her and even inspired me. I knew her very well that she was, like me, an introvert, public-shy, knew as much as I did technically - and yet, there she was, dressed immaculately and capturing the attention of the audience. 

While I tried to keep it at bay as much as possible, the opportunity came knocking on my door in May this year when I was asked to present at Informatica World 2023 conference at The Venetian, Las Vegas, on How Informatica helped Datawarehouse Modernization, a project which I had worked on for the last couple of years. I was confident about the topic, so the content was not a problem. Still, we underwent number of rehearsals, prepared for possible questions from the audience and finally I was ready!

Thanks to the umpteen practice sessions, I was surprised not to detect any butterflies in the stomach as I went up on the stage. I was glad that seemed as easy as conversing with someone else. All those mentorship during the last two decades helped - talk slowly, keep it light and not too technical, add humor, make it like a story - and I did the best I could. I guess I did not embarass myself (which I later understood is the single most factor for fear of Public Speaking), because at the end of it, there was an ovation.

So, finally I did it - Public Speaking! Check! ✅

I promptly came back home and messaged my 8th grade English Teacher and thanked her for helping me get onto the first stage (literally) of my life! 

And now, I can proudly share my picture too!

I Love You..... Thank You!

My Mother-in-law studied Kannada Medium, and hence not very well-versed in the English language. Her first granddaughter, that is my daughter, grew up the first six years of her life in the United States, and hence the English language came naturally for her. Often times, my wife and I played the part of translators so that they two could understand one another. But at other times they managed themselves. It was quite a sight to watch these two far end of the spectrum of generations communicating with one another, and sometimes hilarious. 

In the local language Kannada, the letter "L" has two variations - one where the tongue just touches palate (usually depicted with lower-case "l") and another where the tongue rolls inwards and uncoils (usually depicted with upper-case "L"). In Kannada, the word "HeLu" means "to tell", where as "Helu" means "to poop"! So there is a ton of difference when the pronunciation changes even a bit! And, since English has no mastery on tongue-rolling antics, my daughter at that time always asked her granny to "Helu" while she meant her to tell and this used to set us all into splits, much to her chagrin as she used to wonder what wrong she said!

Likewise, whenever Tontu used to say "I Love You" to her granny, my MIL - without much knowledge of how things work usually - always used to reply back "Thank You", and this caused lot of laughter. And then, my daughter used to explain that instead of 'Thank You', she should say "I Love you too".

Cut to the present. My wife and I came across number of articles and videos where Sadhguru talks about love. One such article is about True Love. He mentions clearly here that "Love is not something that you do; love is the way you are". If you are in such a state that you can be loved unconditionally, or you have become so lovable, and because of that someone says "I Love You", then obviously the response should indeed be "Thank You"! 

Perhaps my MIL might not be an English literate but knew this all along, inherently. 

The last laugh was on us, the educated.

Welcome to Teenage!

Tontu turned Thirteen today!

Its amazing how a child grows up, in fact, sometimes almost magical. It is even more amazing to watch this phenomenon of Life. It feels like just a few days ago that I was giving her bath, with a nice religious accompanying Shloka (which almost gave me the feeling of bathing an idol) and somewhere, sometime that process logically ended and she is managing all that herself. I just have to wake her up once, and in a few minutes I can hear her in the bathroom, humming to herself! How did that happen?!

She used to sleep with us for a long time, hugging her mamma....and now she cuddles up with her toy on her own bed in her own bedroom. How did that happen?!

There was a time (long, long ago) when she used to run out of the kitchen, scared of the pressure cooker when it was about to whistle, and now she is able to light matchsticks all by herself. How did that happen?!

We never used to go anywhere without her for a really long time. Where we went, she went with us. And then we started going to the market without her, and she was fine being with her friends. And, for the first time, recently, we went out of city for a weekend without her, and she was ok to stay with her grandparents. How did that happen?!

Its not that the connection has reduced or the love has weakened, and yet, it is fascinating to see the small child grow into a young gal now, where she can manage things by herself, is responsible, able to handle the pressure in the school, work on projects individually, be creative - and do things in general without supervision or prodding or even support from her parents. 

In the process, she has expanded her wings and is able to judge to what she likes, what she does not:  Badminton class - no; Singing class - yes; Dancing class - yes; Chess class - no; And thanks to us being a nice community with its ample share of friends, lots of activities such as learning how to cycle, how to skate, how to wave board were taught by her peers themselves without us having to run alongside!

Coming to the part about singing and dancing - it amazes me what wonders she has achieved! I mean I still remember the early days when I used to teach her Sa-Ri-Ga-Ma and now, she has successfully cleared her Junior exam with great honor, and has performed on the stage on many occasions. I remembered this pic as she was sitting in the exam hall writing the exam!

Regarding Bharatanatyam - thanks to her Gurus, she has had nice opportunities in performing on stage with large number of audiences, and this not only has removed the stage fear but has given her the confidence of about expressing herself openly and in any situation.

We were extremely pleased when her book The Mystery of Strange Hill got published on Amazon when she was just 10 years of age. We were overly proud when she was the only person from her school to attend the National Spelling Bee competition in Kolkatta when she was just in her First standard. 

Add to this, the number of awards from her inter-class co-curricular activities - we are running out of space to keep the trophies! Some of the competitions which she excelled and stood first were areas which she challenged herself - such as doing a book review, advertising a product, etc.

She even made a small movie using just the mobile phone during Covid days. She has mastered making deco pics using apps on the smart phone. She has composed a huge collection of poems. And thus, her accomplishments go on and on. Proud of you, Tontu!

And now, looking forward to the next phase of life. Presenting this blog-post as one more Birthday gift...!!

Have a wonderful Birthday and a memorable Teenage Life!

PS: Quick Links for previous Birthday Posts: 

First
Third
Fourth
Tenth

Summer 2023

April 3rd: School Books distribution and Sadhguru Darshan at Sadhguru Sannidhi, Chikkaballapura

April 8th: PTM and Trichur Brothers Carnatic concert at Ramanavami Music Festival, Fort High School

April 9th: Colleague son's Birthday Party

April 15th-16th: Birthday at Tirumala

April 20th: Sivasri Namasankeerthana concert at Ramanavami Music Festival, Fort High School

April 23rd-28th: Vaishnodevi, Golden Temple, Kurukshetra, New Delhi

April 30th: Abhishek Raghuram Carnatic concert at Ramanavami Music Festival, Fort High School

May 6th-14th: Informatica world conference at The Venetian, Las Vegas and Brother's place at Detroit

May 21st: TCS10K

May 24th-28th: Bhavaspandana at Coimbatore 

Jun 4th: Colleague's Gruhapravesham

Being in India

My daughter's friend's younger sister, about 5-6 years old, who stays close to us just returned back from Australia. She had been there with her mother for a short onsite stint for about 2-3 months. 

So, our first question (when my wife and I met her) was, "Which do you like better - India or Australia?" 
Pat came her response: "India!"
"Why?"
"Because they use tissue paper."
"Tissue paper?!"
"In the wash room. Instead of faucet."

We burst out laughing! Such a nice honest and innocent response! An entire country's popularity dropped just because of washroom habit!

Soon after that incident I was talking to my brother-in-law who resides in Dubai. As of now (could be changed soon), there is no citizenship granted for Indians. So he was narrating how his fellow Indian friends who stay in Dubai do everything possible to immigrate to either Canada or US just so that they can get that country's citizenship. For some reason, upon hearing that, I felt a pang. Its not as if that this was the first time I was hearing this, because when I used to stay in US, this was an everyday office hallway discussion - about Indians waiting for GC and US Citizenship. But after settling down in India for the last 7 years, the very thought of losing out such a privileged citizenship - that of being "Indian" - seems so appalling to me now. 

And then a few days later, a friend of mine in US called me and informed that she got Citizenship. A few years back, my response would have been "Congratulations" but this time, somehow, that never came out from me. I was more like matter-of-fact "Oh ok" while inwardly thinking "How sad." 

It is hard to express the immensity of being Indian in India. Keeping apart the apathy of politicians or untidiness of places or civic sense of general public, when it comes to spirituality, there is no place like India. It might also be so that now that I am on the other side of 40 or maybe influenced by Sadhguru's talks that I am more spiritually inclined now than I was before, and being so, any other country of permanent residence just doesn't make any sense anymore. 

But, to be fair, it is true that Indians are spreading spirituality across the world by settling down in various parts of the world. In fact, when we were in US, we were exposed to lot more Indian festivities' grandeur than how we used to experience when we were in India itself, thanks to the enthusiasm of few members who used to amplify the events and create an atmosphere conducive to be Indians while not being in India.

In India, I have visited so many religious places already and yet there seems to be so many more to visit. Some of them even deserves a second or even third visit, while I know that many visit places like Tirumala annually once. The spiritual cleansing that one feels upon such visits is invigorating & soulful than a beach-side vacation that one might crave for in other parts of the world. 

There is always some thing or the other that is happening in India. A cousin's wedding, another cousin's son's naming ceremony, another cousin's in-law's Sahasra Chandra Darshanam homa, an aunth's death ceremony, a yagna at an uncle's house, a musical saint's commemoration ceremony, a religious saint's Pontification day ceremony, a communion of spiritual seekers to celebrate night-long festivity singing hymns of the Lord, a special day to take river bath to cleanse oneself from accumulated sins, a day for fasting to welcome the birth of the Lord, and the list goes on and on. If you notice closely, every event above is conducted spiritually and involves divinity. 

To be away from India is almost akin to be away from the Divine.

Mutt Fiestas!

Jan 26th: Naming ceremony @ Seethapathi Agrahara Mutt

Jan 28th: Purandara Dasara Aradhane @ Konankunte Mutt

Jan 30th: Madhwa Navami @ Konankunte Mutt

Feb 5th: Pavamana Homa @ Madhwa Narayana Ashrama Mutt  Had to forego another function on same day @ Uttaradi Mutt!

Feb 11th: Kanakabhisheka @ Konankunte Mutt

The Subconsciousness Conflict

Off late I have become conscious of the water that I am drinking, thanks to many videos (experiment) and articles (Isha, Neerukku Nandri) that I have come across. I might not bow down every time with gratitude to the glass of water before I drink but I am automatically closing my eyes before & during the drink. This has now become a regular practice.

Last week when I was driving, I felt thirsty and started drinking water from the bottle. While I was drinking, I could sense a state of unrest and I was wondering why. It then flashed to me that I was actually driving with my eyes closed! And if closing my eyes while drinking water has become one part of my subconscious, there was another "driving" part of my subconsciousness which always ensures my eyes are open while driving, and in this case it was raising a red flag that I was doing something which I never should.

It was a very strange experience indeed: Two parts of my own subconsciousness conflicting with one another!

The Ball in The Game

It was more than a decade ago, sometime in late 2011. The place was Fidelity office in Boston. I was attending a talk by a distinguished Executive-level employee on the nuances of Money, stock market, retirement funds, corpus, defined benefits, defined contributions, etc. all of which are centrally linked to what Fidelity deals with. It was a huge gathering and almost 200-300 people were in the auditorium and I was amazed at how well this person was speaking - so fluently and so fluidly that even the person least knowledgeable could easily understand. 

He started off his speech with a reference to a famous game that had been played just the previous weekend and the home team had come out victorious. He indicated that we all could appreciate the game only because we knew the rules of the game. If there were no rules, or if we did not understand those rules, then one would just see the ball being passed from one person to the other. We would not even differentiate from one team to the other, from home team to opposition. The point being - understanding of the rules is so important in a game without which one cannot fully appreciate the victory. 

He then correlated that sports game to this game in life which we are all playing with Money. If one does not understand the rules properly, then how can one excel, how can one create a surplus which would lead us to financial freedom which could, in turn, be considered as being victorious in our own lives. This analogy I felt was very powerful and what he said made absolute sense.

Now, cut to the present. Jan '23. I was doing some household chore and was listening to Sadhguru's speech. He was mentioning how we all are stuck in this web of transactions and that, in itself, is the cause for us to not get liberated from this cycle of birth and death. This constant urge to make profits, more profits, from small car to big SUV, from small house to mansion, etc. gets us hooked more and more into the rat race making it so difficult to get out. 

Finally, he said this - 

"You think you are playing a Game. But in the end you find out that you are actually the Ball in that Game."

🙄 

Fast, Feast, Birth, Death - The 4 days in 2023

Jan 2nd: Fast - Vaikunta Ekadasi. Absolute fasting - nothing eaten and bare minimum water intake.

Jan 3rd: Feast - 'Breaking of the fast' by way of Dwadasi lunch at Raghavendra Swamy Mutt. Also happened to be Raghuttama Tirtha's Aradhana. Hence the feast.

Jan 4th: Birth - News of my maternal cousin's son's birth. Finally a 'boy' born in the family after 26 years.

Jan 5th: Death - News of my paternal cousin's death. First amongst us cousins.