The Month That Was

After more than a month, I am back! Well, at least a valiant effort to be back, for I might be gone again indefinitely, for all I know. The thing that comes to mind when I say this is one of the email wishes that I received after I sent the wedding invite:

“Wish you and Gouri a very happy married life ahead. Of course that comes with a fine print. You lose 75% of your freedom :)”

Well, that explains my long hiatus in a nutshell (although I have been active in my other blogs). Speaking of the marriage, here are the snaps.

Marriage is a day when the bride and groom are equated to the God and Goddess and the matrimony is made all the more holy. A number of rituals are to be followed. Some which make sense and some that do not but yet you do as you are told. You are asked to go to Kashi metaphorically and you go. You are asked to jump in joy because of a girl and you jump. You are asked to come back home metaphorically and you come back. You are asked to tie knot to the bride and you tie. You are asked to keep a sweet in your wife’s mouth and take a bite and you do it. You are asked to point your wife’s eyes to Arundhati and you do it. You are asked to fight with your wife and you do it. Suddenly out of nowhere you have doll twins as your kids and you are asked to name them and you name them. That just about sums it all up. Snap! You are back as human beings, and lo and behold, you are married! Hows that for hypnosis!

A quick make up, and its time for reception. Friends and colleagues and college mates and school mates are all flocking into the wedding hall. One feels so glad to see them all. Yet, the irony is palpable. When in college, I used to have about a hundred friends. But the attendance at my wedding was in single digits. During the course of life, how far we all depart from our dear ones and how the significance fades. I had invited hundreds and only few tens had attended. Of course, many are geographically challenged and life nowadays is just electronic. Hence, I guess, I ought to count the e-attendance too!

But I guess it’s the current phase of life that always matter to everyone. Like how almost all of my colleagues had come. If they were my ex-colleagues, I couldn’t have expected the same number. Similar was the case with one of my colleague who had got married immediately after college. The whole class had attended her wedding. I guess that’s the reason why we have coined the phrase ‘near and dear ones.’

My travelogue blog has details about my week-long honeymoon. Then started a series of religious rituals. There was Pavamana Homa, Kanaka Abhisheka, Satyanarayana Pooja and Kalyana Utsava (Tirumala) in quick succession. Never before I have attended, rather, subjected to perform so many Poojas in so short a time!

Joined office early just so to see off my dear friend Preetham. Many a glorious moment have been spent with him in office during the last one and a half years, coupled with intellectually stimulating and humorously sprinkled conversations. I wish him the very best for his MBA. Well, he knows what I really wish for!

Life after that has been pretty moderate. A picnic here, a dinner treat there, and such things to keep me away from blogging! And before I know it, we are celebrating one month wedding anniversary!

One would think that after marriage, one is pretty much ‘settled’, but in my case, suffice it to say that there is a restlessness which is yet to be satisfied...

Wedding Invitation!

I am getting married this Friday, July 11th, 2008!

Kindly refer the blog-invite and grace the holy occasion!

PS: For those who are interested in the prologue....

Wimbledon 2008 Men's Singles Finals

Well, what can I say. As the commentators themselves said, 'How can we describe this? There are just no words'.

If a match even when seen in highlights can generate so much adrenalin, passion and emotion, what else can one say....Simply stupefying.

Hats off to Rafael and Roger. It was just anybody's game...

Progress or Regress?

I received a forward recently about Hiroshima and Nagasaki. One set of pictures immediately after the bomb exploded, and one set of pictures now in the year 2008. While the former showed absolute devastation, and complete debris where everything and anything seemed to have mowed down, the other was awe-inspiring.


‘How is it possible?’ is the first question that props up in the mind. Lights and buildings seemed to be everywhere, and development in full swing. Urban planning at its very best. The progress seemed remarkable. Man-made beauty at its very best.

While India, with richness surrounded everywhere, could not reach such echelons even after independence, how could a city that was absolutely devastated and reduced to rubble, raise to such heights. It seemed simply remarkable.

Such was my line of thought. I then forwarded this mail to my friends, and I got a jolt when my good friend Mahesh, intelligent that he is, responded back with a line of thought that I had never thought of:

There is no doubt that Japan and Germany have come up from nothing but without trees and plants and greenery, can one really say that the city has come up? That it has progressed and made huge developmental strides? City looks colourful in lights at nights. But during day time, we will find only concrete structures....Shouldnt there be trees also in the city? Greenery?

Very valid point. Whole of Bangalore's beautiful trees are being axed down every other day in the wake of development, for widening the roads, for mass transport train system. Bangalore-Hassan highway which was once lined with one of the finest trees, almost like a green archway for miles together, have been axed down to make the highway a 4-lane expressway.

That brings us to the questions:

1. Does development of cities happen at the cost of this beautiful world?
2. Is the modern city really progressing or regressing?
3. Is the expressway for faster commute actually destined for faster mortality?

Doogie-ing

The time is 12.45 am. Its usually that time of the night when I would have just completed my first dream and getting onto the next. The only connection to the two being a regular and rhythmic snoring drone. And yet, here I am, like Doogie Howser, typing away on my laptop the thoughts that are incessantly coming to my head. As they say, for an author - if I can be so rash as to call myself one - when words come to the head, they have to be channelised onto the paper, or the e-paper.

The last couple of days have been really hectic at office. So much so that I had to skip my violin classes. Clocking more than 12 hours a day has become a daily routine. The project in which I am working since 10 months is about to go into production (the date and time of production install is the day of my marriage – how’s that for coincidence?!!) and a number of defects are being raised at the nth moment, causing the whole project to go into haywire, and along with it went our daily routine! No swimming, no sauna and none of those pleasures I was describing in my previous few blogs.

But this working long hours and on weekends, much to my surprise, did not bring any disappointment to me. I wasn’t wary of going to the office early in the morning to another hard day’s – and night’s – work. I was rather looking forward to it. I thought about it and asked myself as to why that I wasn’t repenting such hard hours in office with no personal life whatsoever.

The answer was pretty obvious. It was because I was in the project since its inception and since I was working on it for 10 months now, it was almost like my baby. And with baby, comes affection and love, and you want it – the project, in my case – to be as good as possible, defect-free! Such is the power of love, that one’s toil doesn’t really affect one’s pleasures. It is that time when you don’t think about how much you are being paid, how much it is worth it all, but you just go there and give your best, just for the sake of your project, for your baby. And at the end of a hard days work, be it a weekday or a weekend, you will feel satisfied, you will feel deserved for the money that you are being paid, you wouldn’t really think about the lost weekend or the lost time in personal life, you will be remorse and guilt free for doing your best, and that’s what counts most. To deserve what you get. And when such a thought comes, along comes satisfaction. And with satisfaction comes that happiness, which is what everyone craves for. It was quite a realization!

So, there I was, basking with this realization, when along came some relatives to the house. As is often the case with relatives, the conversation starts of with ‘How is so-and-so?’, ‘Did she-and-she come back?’, ‘Is he-and-he doing well now?’ etc. The talk is mostly on other relatives. Invariably, the conversation somehow leads to two people in our huge family tree who are suffering from some rare diseases that no doctor on earth has been able to cure. Such is the type of diseases that it will occur in 1 out of a million cases. Absolutely bed-ridden. One of them is in her early fifties. And it is said that the only cure out of this tremendous pain that they are suffering is death itself.

It’s the most heartening for me to see such people. Really rattles the heart to think that in this era of great innovations and inventions, such diseases still prevail where Man is just a onlooking passerby with his insurmountable knowledge and wisdom. Really a pity.

When topic about disease and the victim comes up, it leads to the question of ‘Why him?’ or ‘Why her?’ Then comes the long list of good deeds that the person has done in his or her life, and one really wonders, what the person really ever do to get such a treatment at the hands of Providence. As one of my elderly guest relative put it, “Is there really anything called Divine Justice?” Very true words. Food for thought indeed.

One thing I have noticed about this elderly set of people, the people who ruled the world in seventies and eighties, is that they are really very dignified. Very composed and dressed very well. Very eloquent in their conversations. Very gentlemanly and courteous and it’s a real pleasure to talk to people like that. Sort of old-world charm, one might say, but there it is. “The real juice”, as Wodehouse would have said.

Well that’s about it. Doogie would have done a better job, I guess, to surmise this whole thing into one beautiful sentence, as he always does. I liked that part in every episode. But then, he was a child prodigy…

:)

Funda of the day

I was walking in the office campus today when I overheard one guy say to the other:

"One should never join a company which has a half-page or full-page recruitment ad."

:)

A sad day for Jayanagar

Being in a place affects you in a way of its own. It becomes part of you, of your life. You depend on it with totality, with surity that as long as you are there, the place remains; with its shops, trade, restaurants and even filth. The place around you, the environment, fills up this unknown place in your heart even without you knowing it.

On Friday night at 11 pm, fire broke out in the Jayanagar Shopping Complex area and it lasted for more than 8 hours. It burned out every shop inside the complex to black rubble. Day traders' brand new sale clothes, stationery, groceries, and other exenpsive items of sale were blackened to death. These were their sole investments. The shop was their life. Their sole path of sustenance. And by Saturday morning, everything was gone. Just like that. The heart goes out to them all.

And as for the shopping complex itself, that void in the heart can be almsot felt. It was always there since I was born. In fact, 32 years now, and suddenly seeing that it was all charred out, brings out that emotion within which cannot be expressed. One sees mortality in human beings but not in places, not in markets, not in buildings, not in inanimate worldly items. They are meant to be there, forever. But then, comes this crashing thought, that Hand of Fate, that indeed, even inanimate worldly things, including buildings, places have mortality written all over them. And it is then when such mortality occurs, that one starts feeling the love, and its subsequent loss, even for landmarks such as the Jayanagar Shopping Complex.

A sad, sad day indeed...

Ironicity

Bangalore’s Electronics City hosts of many companies like Infosys, HP, Wipro, etc. The other day, when I was just about to reach the office, I happened to notice a board that was always there. But this time, the words ‘Electronics City’ at the top of the board sort of reminded me of an irony:

The only purpose served after I studied six years of electronics has been to work in Electronics City!

***

The guy from Aquaguard had come to clean the water filter today. I was interested to see what he was really going to do. So, there I was, watching him open the filter, remove the tubes, the pipes and the works. Sure enough, the filter - and all its related contents included - was all brownish-ugh! But when I saw him how he really cleaned the filter, the ironicity, if there is such a word, hit me hard:

The water filter's filter, filled with water's impurity, was actually cleaned by water itself!

***

I went to an eye clinic today for a routine check up. They checked my eye power and dilated it so as to check the nerves. Now, dilation will result in blurriness of the eyes for a couple of hours. So an ironic thought passed my mind:

I went to an eye clinic with my eyes at its supreme best, and came out of it with all blurriness!

***

Wedding shopping has begun. The search for the perfect suit was one such shopping expedition. We were browsing though the innumerable collection, deciding on texture and color when the salesman said something about color which was, in a way, very ironic:

“Blue is evergreen.”

***

:)

Little incidents...

It was good to come home to watch an IPL T20 cricket match just getting started...
It was always a good topic at lunch to talk about the status of T20 matches...
I miss it...
:-(

***

"Ma'am, when do I learn this song and raga?"
"It comes with time and practice"

"Coach, when do I learn to breathe during swimming?"
"It comes with time and practice"

:-(

***

"Harsha, can you proof-read this invitation card?"
"Yes, dad."
I start reading....more to myself than anybody else...."C Gururaja Rao and C G Susheela's grandson request the gracious presence of you and your family on the auspicious occasion of the wedding of their grandson Harsha with..."
That is when realization hits me and my eyes bulge. "Oh, my God! I am getting married?!!!"
:-)

***

Life's mistakes

Of course, you only live one life, and you make all your mistakes, and learn what not to do, and thats the end of you.

~Surely you're joking, Mr. Feynman! by Richard P. Feynman.

Anger

Anger, they say, is a temporary madness.

About half a decade ago, I just couldn't scold anyone. A vehicle honks and cuts in my way, I am passive. Someone jumps the queue, I am a mute spectator. I see an injustice happening and I sit mum. A colleague doesn't show professionalism in his work and I just make a ball of fist and blame the Fate. I used to blame the system, the mindset of people, India, etc and just live on.

But now, boy do I shout. I stand up for what is right. I do not see "left or right", as they say, and blast a person if I find him on the wrong side of justice. My adrenalin gets all pumped up and unprintable words start coming out of my mouth. I can almost feel the mercurial rise in temper. I do not hesitate to escalate matter. I do not hesitate to talk to anyone superior. I just rip the person apart if I find him guilty. Twice in the last couple of months I have made the other person almost stop talking during the argument because of my powerful tirade.

This phenomenal change in me is scary. Half a decade ago, this is the way I wanted to be. But now that I can indeed stand up for myself and for what is right, I am not sure if this is the right way to stand up for oneself. True, in both the cases, things got done when it seemed almost impossible to get it done, because of my wrath, and I felt the success for having not been meek and submissive but yet, surely, there must be some other way?

At the end of the conversation, I am fuming and taking a break and drinking water and trying to get back to normalcy. Jeez, I think, I was fine a few minutes ago, but what made me go off the top like that?!

Moral of the day: I am getting pissed off very easily. I need to calm myself and work on my anger. I need to put the point across in a soothing manner and still get the right job done.

Question of the day: Or am I fine the way I am, because I am able to get things done right in the right time?

Just

It is nice to discuss about the project amongst team members in a swimming pool. It really irks me when people do not carry an umbrella when its raining daily and want to share with me, making me half wet in the process. I saw this huge number of crows on the road, flying here and there, making pedestrians to stoop now and then to avoid being hit, and made me wonder why the birds do not fly above earth where there is so much space instead of crowding in an already overflowing place. Feynman really hit me hard in his Surely you're joking, Mr Feynman! when he pinpointed the absolute uselessness of the education system in which I had studied for 18 years straight. There was a faint hope after I liked Pirates of the Caribbean but Chronicles of Narnia Prince Caspian is definitely not my type. It feels good to get a salary hike howsoever infinitesimal the hike might actual be. I had seen many mind-reading reality shows but today was the first time I was in one, when a performer was invited to the company campus. I am all excited about my new found knowledge of the Katapayadi Sankhya – the formula to identify the scale of any of the 72 melakarta ragas. I realized that my ideologies and thoughts almost half a decade ago were not exactly right and it came as a surprise, how as one ages ones thoughts and actions vary. The human mind has an amazing capability to adapt to its current situation as well as to the upcoming event in life in such a way that not only do you enjoy the current situation but also be ready and anticipate the future so as to get done with the current situation, as in the cases of just finishing education, of just about to get into a company, of going to a foreign country, of going back to home, of getting engaged, of getting married and life after. Its amazing how songs that one hear correlate to a person or a group of persons with whom the song was once heard, like for me, whenever I hear Bhool Bhulayya, I am reminded of Mithu and the trip to Goa; whenever I hear Fanaa songs, I am reminded to Soumik and the trip from Chicago to Boston; whenever I hear Rang De Basanti songs, I am reminded of Mithun and Ashwini when we went to the movie and Mithun drove for 45 miles at 2 am in the night without any sense of purpose; whenever I hear of Smack That, I am reminded of Mayur who gives me any song I like; whenever I hear of Zara Zara, I am reminded of my initial days in Infy Mysore with Sandhya and others; whenever I hear of Hips dont lie, I am reminded of Abhi and Archie in whose house we saw the video; whenever I hear of ….well, the list goes on. I think I will stop now.

The Deflation

There are days when one is flying like a balloon
Full of josh and enthusiasm
Of liveliness and gaiety
Brimful of life and color

And then comes this one small statement
Which is indeed full of truth
But feels like the prick of a needle
And thus starts the deflation

No more the flying; no more the josh and liveliness.
Balloon is out of air
And it lies on the floor
Just a piece of shrunk rubber

People's expectations

You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. Its their mistake, not my failing. I am what I am, and if they expected me to be good and they're offering me some money for it, it's their hard luck.

-Surely you're joking, Mr Feynman! by Richard P. Feynman

A stinker of a day

Some days just rot. It is almost tangible from the start. And once it starts, Fate plays along with you all the way till the end, mocking at your absolute helplessness…

Like how you get up late on a time crunched day…
Like how you have to miss the morning jog because you got up late…
Like how you miss your usual bus in the morning…
Like how you get a seat which is splashed with bright sunlight all through the journey to office…
Like how you cannot sleep in the bus as you usually do because you are actually sweating in the morning…
Like how you get stuck in a long line of security check and swipe in queue…
Like how you see a cycle being whisked away by someone else when you just thought you could get to it…
Like how the elevator door closes on your face as you desperately press the button…
Like how you are loaded and loaded with work all through the day and it just keeps on coming…
Like how you have to miss the evening swim and sauna because of work…
Like how you miss your stop on your way back in bus because you overslept…
Like how you have to still honor a prior appointment but it is raining…

Boy. What a stinker of a day…

Its Hot! Its Cold!

Commencing Shower.
Its hot!

Swimming pool.
Its cold!

Jacuzzi.
Its hot!

Rain.
Its cold!

Sauna and steam bath.
Its hot!

Final Shower.
Its cold!

fia...

Extract from Collins Gem English Dictionary Copyright 1990.
Order of words is slightly amusing.

...
fiance : man engaged to be married
fiancee : woman engaged to be married
fiasco : total failure
...

:)

Just a matter of few seconds, actually

I witnessed 3 incidents in succession to realize that Man cannot even wait for a few seconds.

Incident # 1: Vehicles were bumper-to-bumper. It was a huge traffic jam and vehicles could be seen moving inch by inch for almost a kilometer ahead. I saw a local worker carrying a huge load on his shoulder trying to cross the road. But none of the vehicles were stopping to allow him to cross the road. In spite of the fact that there was no more than 3 feet to move on the road for the vehicle. If only they could just wait for a few seconds…

Incident # 2: The signal was red. The countdown was in single digits. By the time the number had come down to 5, vehicles could be seen honking, moving as if by pressure, like how the liquid wants to come out of a soda bottle. One feels like shouting ‘JUST SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU!!’ If only they could just wait for a few seconds…

Incident # 3: Vehicles that get stuck behind a BMTC bus or a company bus usually have to wait till the bus off-loads or loads passengers. But hardly does anyone wait. Either they honk and keep honking or they keep honking and try to cross the bus by moving onto another lane. If latter is followed, they will not only be unsuccessful but also block other vehicles moving freely in that other lane resulting in more honks. When all this brouhaha is in progress, that BMTC bus or the company bus will start moving and for a minute or two, there will be no shrill honks until another such bus stops at the same place! If only they could just wait for a few seconds…

And then, one fine day, when Preetham and I were walking back to the office, in the middle of another of our intellectual conversations or simple ‘babe talk’ (!), we entered the elevator and I pressed the floor button. Immediately later, out of habit, I pressed the button which closes the door. And Preetham said:

“Do you realize, Harsha, that Man cannot wait for even a few seconds that he invented a button on the elevator to close the door sooner than the time it would have taken to close automatically? Just a matter of few seconds, actually.”

:)

Chinnaswamy and I

March 18 2001

The time was 3 am. I woke up groggily. Brushed my teeth, left the house, closing the door softly behind me, took the bike and made my way to Chinnaswamy stadium. It was a chilly night and I knew it was going to be a long wait. The ticket counter was going to open only at 8 am. The match was India Vs Australia scheduled a week later. When I neared M G Road, my heart sank. The queue had started from Rs 100 counter way way ahead and had already neared St marks Road. Also, it wasn’t in single file. It was more like a kilometer long set of rows and each row consisting of 3-4 people. Nevertheless, I parked my Kinetic and joined the queue. Fortunately I had a Robin Cook novel with me to pass the time till the counters opened. Everyone was sitting on the pavement beside the gutter and I too did the same. Its much too painful to stand all those hours. I was amazed at people’s passion for the game. Most folks would have stood in the queue from previous night. Only that could explain such a long queue at 3 am. The guy in front of me had his shirt torn. I was wondering how he could afford to spend 100 bucks on a cricket match while he couldn’t afford a shirt. Is that how the passion is for this game? But then I could be mistaken. Most folks get the ticket and sell it in black on the day of the game. Perhaps this guy standing in queue is just his means of earning money and ensuring to get rid of that torn shirt. Strange are the ways of this world. In spite of studying people around me, I was able to complete the novel by 9 am and I hadn’t moved an inch. It wasn’t too difficult to understand what was happening. While we all stood in the queue religiously, the counters had opened at 8 am and new people were just jumping the queue and joining near the counter itself instead of coming in line. Also, some who had come after me and were standing behind me also jumped the queue by joining ahead despite brawl and foul language all around. But I stood ground with high-but-waning hopes that I will get gallery ticket. At 10, with no breakfast and nothing whatsoever to eat, I started getting a headache and felt like puking. I thought enough is enough, and went to my bike and started my way back to home. I never realized it was so tough to get a ticket to a cricket match. I passed through the Rs 100 counter and could see how jam packed the queue was. No wonder why the queue was never moving. I then passed the Rs 500 counter. About 10 people were standing in the queue, and it was oh-so-easy to get the ticket but it was beyond my budget. I couldn’t afford Rs 500 for a cricket match. That day, I told myself ‘Next time, I will take a Rs 500 ticket...’

Sep 29 2007

Passion remained as it is. But laziness grew with pay packets. The match was scheduled to start at 2.30 pm. It was again India Vs Australia. I hadn’t stood in the queue this time a week ago. Nor could the ticket be obtained over internet. But I went by myself to the stadium at 12 noon just to soak in the atmosphere. I saw some guy selling tickets in black, shadily. My budget was Rs 3000 this time, 30 times more than my budget 6 years ago. He was selling at Rs 200 ticket for Rs 1500. I smiled at Heaven and took it without hesitation. I entered the stadium to a rising crescendo. This is what its all about. A television set just dilutes it all. To sit in a stadium, in an arena filled with thousands of other people, to watch thirteen men on the ground, two of them battling out the rest eleven. It is an honor to stand on that pitch. It is just the tops to get a standing ovation from thousands of people for performing well in the midst of such a humongous gathering where the expectation and pressure will always be exponentially increasing. This is what heroes are made of. True, the match got abandoned due to rain midway through. True, Sachin got out for a duck. But I enjoyed it thoroughly.

May 5 2008

‘I have an extra ticket. Wanna come?’ A colleague asked me at 10 am. The T20 match was at 8 pm. I said yes. This one was just Rs 235. We reached the stadium at 5. Again that crescendo. It is painful to sit in a gallery because there are no seats and it is just a set of concrete steps but it is in gallery that there is much fun, much brotherhood, full of lively people and here is where the Mexican Wave starts, where creativity oozes and the party never ends. However this time around it was even wonderful. T20 comes with music, loud, blaring music and jaw-dropping cheerleaders and music performances and dance sequences and, to top it off, there was also laser show with Mission Impossible theme music. It was rupees’ worth even before the match started. Of course, the match Bangalore Vs Mohali was a disappointment as Bangalore practically lost in the first over but nevertheless the cheerleaders really gave a reason to cheer especially because they were right in front of us! When match got real boring as Bangalore were sure to lose, people stopped watching the cricket and started conversing with the cheerleaders! Its true that its no longer a gentleman’s game, but then the aura of a cricket stadium just got bigger and better as it reduced from a day long affair to compete with a 3 hour Bollywood flick, enjoyable by everyone in the family.

Booklog Enhanced!

Since almost an year I had this urge to let the World know what book I was reading. I guess this is a common feeling amongst book lovers. Hence I came up with the Booklog link on the right which primarily used the publish option of googledocs to portray the books I have read in a HTML format. But the UI was ghastly while the content, for me, mattered most. Above all, the biggest disadvantage was that I still could not showcase the much publicised 'Current Read' which in fact I was tracking locally since 2001...

Simple and easy solution was to come up with a blogspot link of its own (which will henceforth have 'Current Read') and from there, navigate to the Googledocs link (which contains the master list of books read along with the rating I provide).

Happy Birthday, Chronicle!