Happy Birthday!

How grand it all looks,

How absolutely rich,

In culture, in colour and in splendour,

Like a fullness of its own.

Thought for the day

Before college, you play with life...
After college, life plays with you...

Source: Rang De Basanti

While the pendulum swings, the clock ticks...

Human beings with their tamperings do something wrong, leave the damage unrepaired and when the adverse results accumulate, work with all their might to correct them. When the corrective actions appear to be successful, they come to view these measures as splendid accomplishment.
~ The one-straw revolution by Masanobu Fukuoka

One of the most fascinating things I find is how a job is created or money is earned out of a system that is actually not working the way it should. I mean if the system was working fine and there were no issues, then the opportunity would not have even existed. While most crib about the system not being well, and blame the higher authorities, some take it up as a silver lining and create it into a business opportunity.

Take for instance, the power cuts. A country, ideally, ought not to have power cuts. It is the Government’s responsibility to ensure that there is electric power supplied to all consumers 24 * 7. Yet, in reality, at least in under developed and developing countries, there is no constant supply of power. Come to think of it, there are a number of rural communities who aren’t even aware of something called electricity. So, this is a system that is actually not working the way it should.

Most of us blame the Government. I mean that’s the easy way out of the frustration. But not so, for many entrepreneurs. They are the ones who milk the system to their benefit. Many factories hence have opened to cater to the millions to provide 24 * 7 power supply by manufacturing UPS boxes. Many organizations excel in solar power electricity generation and cater to the rural millions.

And there we are, all happy, proudly displaying our UPS boxes to our relatives while actually we are displaying our own system’s inefficiency. So, yes, the system is bad, but nevertheless, employment has got generated to many who have made use of the inefficient system, which is actually good.

***

Ditto is the case with water. Not just the sheer availability of it but the purity too. There are many areas in the under developed and developing countries where water, potable or not, do not reach the common man. Which is bad, because, again, it is the Government’s responsibility to ensure that everyone has easy and complete access to water, the basic essentiality for a human being.

However, many “private water suppliers” took birth. They supply the water to waterless localities by transporting water available from other localities at a nominal sum as fee. And not just that, a number of quality organizations have come up to ensure purified water who cater not only to those waterless localities who obtain water from private water suppliers but also to localities where Government supplies water. Now, it is the Government’s role to ensure potable water is supplied to one and all, and they may be doing so indeed for all you know, but so much insecurity has got built-in into the local consumers’ mind about the Government’s inefficiency and inability, that it is not hard for a marketing executive of a water purifying company to convince the consumer about the hazards of Government’s water, and the common man, gullible that he is, purchases such water purifiers especially because water is such an essential part of day to day life with so much added significance for it to be pure.

And there we are, all happy, proudly displaying our water purifiers to our relatives and boasting how good the water tastes and all that, while actually we are displaying our own system’s inefficiency. So, yes, the system is bad, but nevertheless, employment has got generated to many who have made use of the inefficient system, which is actually good.

***

One more glaring instance is the road transportation. How did private transportation system come into the picture? The very basic reason being the Government was unable to cater to the millions, there was a huge gap in the supply and demand, and the system just couldn’t perform effectively. Which is bad, because, again, it is the Government’s responsibility to ensure that the common man can travel from one place to another reasonably and with comfort.

However, many “private road transportation” companies opened up. Some have big popular banners which cater to overnight journeys but many are those who cater to short term transits where the local transportation doesn’t or are very few in number. Not only does this private transportation assist in meeting the demand with the supply, but also assist the common man by innovation. Such as, water bottles, fancy curtains and light, movies, near-by drop points, easy pick-up points, transits between locations never catered to before, etc. I mean this is business at its very best where an organization (private) came up because of some points lacking with some other organization (Government) but the former beating the latter at its own game by sheer innovation, advertising and popularity.

And there we are, all happy, boasting how good the private road transportation is and all that, while actually we are displaying our own system’s inefficiency. So, yes, the system is bad, but nevertheless, employment has got generated to many who have made use of the inefficient system, which is actually good.

***

Another case that comes to mind is the train coaches. Many localites, few urbanites but mostly ruralites, have this really annoying habit of eating junk food in train compartment and scattering the remains on the floor, making it really dirty, and then alighting, much to the chagrin of those who then take up those same dirty compartments. Which is really bad, because, it is the common man’s responsibility to ensure that cleanliness is maintained not just for oneself but for others too.

However, now comes our rag picker with his rag shirt and dirty little cloth, yet clearing all that junk in few swift motions. In few seconds, the floor is all clean again and the rag picker asks for money which you will be glad to part with. I mean, anything to have a clean floor!

And there we are, all happy, boasting how clean the floor looks and all that, while actually we are displaying our own system’s (or should I say people’s) inefficiency. So, yes, the system is bad, but nevertheless, money is being parted to the deprived who have made use of the inefficient system, which is actually good.

***

Even the much talked about concept of outsourcing comes inline within this debate of good and bad. Outsourcing, for the uninitiated, simply means that tasks that are to be done in place A is done at place B. Now if that task was indeed done in place A, amount X would have to be paid but if the same task is done in place B, then amount X/2 or even X/3 would have to be paid. On top of this, there are jobs which need overnight support and the jobs also involve high pressure and tension. Of course, this doesn’t seem reasonable for folks at place B, right? Something bad huh? Folks who work in software outsourcing industry are often called as software coolies.

But in reality its not actually a bane but a boon. X/2 or X/3 is sufficient amount of salary after the currency conversion. Overnight support and high pressure during work is not a reason to crib. It exists in all occupations. Doctors, truck drivers, airline officials, to name a few. But not just that. There has been a huge boom in employment. Unemployment percentage has reduced drastically not just in skilled labour but also in unskilled labour. Engineering students who cannot higher education get jobs soon after graduation. Millions who flocked the urban areas from rural areas found employment in terms of drivers for night shuttle cabs, some autorickshaw drivers got permanent clients, catering industry boomed, so did tourism, states earned huge tax. It gave an opportunity for the developing nations to become developed nations thereby reducing the economic gap.

The amount of ‘Good’ actually surpasses the ‘Bad’ when it comes to outsourcing. The folks in place A are happy that job is getting done for a lesser rate. Folks in place B are happy that they got job. So one really ought to appreciate and applaud the pioneers who got jobs to developing nations and also to those pioneers in developed nations who approved of it and were willing to take the risk and thus started the whole business of outsourcing - a classic case of creating a job opportunity when it didnt seem to exist! But it gets bad when folks in place A are fired to outsource more and more jobs to place B just because job is getting done cheaper. Somewhere a line has to be drawn.

***

Couple more instances where I found this good-bad ratio was when once I had been to BIAL (Bangalore International Airport) and once when I went to pay the Vodafone bill. In the former case, when I drove in my car to the parking lot, there was a machine which when pressed outputs the parking ticket. Now that is an automated machine designed such that the driver can drive close to the machine and hence press the button to retrieve the ticket so that the toll gate opens up. Everything is supposed to be automated, right? But no! There is an attendant standing beside that machine 24 * 7 just to press that button as and when a car comes and take that ticket out of the slot and give to the driver! I mean, what a boring and absolutely useless job! Ditto was the case in the automated Vodafone Bill Pay machine. It is an ATM like machine, where you have to punch in your cell number and it will give the amount due and you plug in your card or pay cash and the transaction is done. But no, there is an attendant who stands beside you, guides you, although there is sufficient information on the screen and just whiles away his time while those educated enough to know what to do complete the transaction without his help. All this, while there is also a manual counter just beside this machine for those traditional, unmodernistic, standard, stand-in-line-and-pay folks!

I mean, the whole system is meant for automation and yet we have manual intervention and tedious jobs. Which implies that there is something wrong with the system. Yet, it is good, because it has generated employment! Still, the fact that some part of my money (be it in the form of BIAL parking or Vodafone’s rental) is perhaps unnecessarily going as salary to an employee whose task is useless is a thing that wouldn’t give a good feeling! However, if this is a case of bridging the socio-economy gap, then, yes, it is a good thing! Such a see-saw of Good and Bad!

***

It is a common observation in a country like India that many motorists take short cuts. So much so that they defiantly break the rules of the Law and take the best possible route irrespective of one-ways and medians and jumping red lights. This is bad right? Of course that is one perspective. But it would be a good thing if it is considered in the light of savings that is effected in terms of fuel consumption. So, short cuts when seen in whole and effected by millions would indeed be saving the nation barrels and barrels!

***

Ditto is the debate about bribing. Suppose I were to be caught by the cops for overspeeding and suppose the fine for overspeeding was Rs 200. Now, if I were to pay Rs 100 to the cop and get away without a Government receipt, as if nothing had happened, it would be beneficial for me, because I saved Rs 100 and no black mark on my driving, and it would be beneficial for the cop because he just became Rs 100 richer. Of course overspeeding is just one reason. Any transaction involving Government official is a case in example. Both the parties are happy and it’s a win-win situation. But ethically this is bad.

However, considering the pathetic state of the economic and financial stability of a Government official and also considering the meager wages that one earns in a Government job, it does feel good once in a while to be again that agent in bridging the financial gap. Of course, it is indeed true that a Government official at times earns more during the under-the-table dealings than through his own salary. So that’s when the amount of the bribe is crucial. If the amount of the bribe is helping the poor become richer, then its ethically acceptable compared to a case wherein the amount of the bribe making the poor poorer.

***

And there, I will end this ethically long debate of the good and the bad but just like the Grandfather clock of the good old days, the pendulum keeps on swinging between the right and the wrong, and the clock makes best use of it by ticking along…

Just pondering...

Is there an international etiquette of when to pull the door and when to push the door? I am very interested in this question especially because, all the buildings in my office campus follow the rule of pulling the door when going out of the building and pushing the door when entering the building, and this rule has ingrained so much in me that subconsciously if I am going out of any building anywhere in the world, it has become a tendency for me to pull and if I am entering any building anywhere in the world, it has become a tendency for me to push irrespective of the sign on the door which might indicate to perform otherwise. It was one such occasion recently when the door sign in a shop I visited indicated ‘Push’ when I pulled on my way out of the building that this question popped up and also made me realize how deep the habit has grown. But yes, the question remains - Is there an international etiquette of when to pull the door and when to push the door?

***

It was almost 7-8 years ago when I was getting down from my college bus that my lady friend beside me pointed to another person of her gender outside the bus wearing shirt and trousers with shirt neatly tucked in, and remarked ‘No girl ever tucks her shirt in. It looks so disgusting. Cannot she realize that?’ Although I did not whole heartedly agree to this vehemently expressed opinion nor had I noticed till that point of time anything amiss in girls wearing western formals with shirt tucked in – not that I am a keen observer and purist in terms of dress etiquette in the first place, far from it actually – it really hit home the point then that girls ought not to wear shirts tucked in, for my friend was indeed a purist in terms of dressing and what-not. Since that day, I confess, I haven’t noticed a single girl wearing Western formals or any combination of shirt and trousers with the shirt tucked in. Until today. Imagine my surprise when I saw not one but four girls wearing Western formals with their shirts tucked in! Not that they were looking disgusting as my friend felt, but it sort of rekindled the thought about dos and donts of female dressing. But this shirt tucking in – is this a new wave of female fashion statement starting?

***

The toughest question to answer these days is ‘How is married life?’ Everyone and anyone who knew you just got married ask this question and there really is no proper answer to this. I mean there you are just having lost that golden freedom of independence, of being care-free, of doing what you felt like doing without asking permission, of going where you want to go without telling anyone, of sitting hours together in front of laptop without being asked why, of being irresponsible, of not caring a damn about anyone else other than you and yet, at the same time, of having obtained a new sense of belongingness with somebody else, of having cared to, of having the joy of caring for someone, of being pampered, of being told what to do and what not to do, of sharing the sorrow with, of sharing the joy with, of doing things specially to see the joy in that person, of missing the person, of feeling responsible for that person, its really a mixed feeling of having gained something precious at the cost of having lost something precious too, for both of them are equally important at their respective phases in age and life. Well, I have time to think and write like I did now, but I cant think and say in so many words when I am asked that question, and hence I just say ‘Married life is nice’ inwardly thinking “Get married and you will know!” if the person is unmarried yet and “You know how it is after marriage and yet you ask!” if the person is married. I confess I have asked this question too but more as a conversation-starter rather than really getting down to reality and brass tacks. Come to think of it, I guess even I am asked for a conversation-starter and hence my reply is good enough without really taking to heart the question or the answer…

***

Thought for the day

People who take to gardening are generally people with fine qualities...

Thought for the day

Whatever happens...

There are books.
There is God.

The Month That Was

After more than a month, I am back! Well, at least a valiant effort to be back, for I might be gone again indefinitely, for all I know. The thing that comes to mind when I say this is one of the email wishes that I received after I sent the wedding invite:

“Wish you and Gouri a very happy married life ahead. Of course that comes with a fine print. You lose 75% of your freedom :)”

Well, that explains my long hiatus in a nutshell (although I have been active in my other blogs). Speaking of the marriage, here are the snaps.

Marriage is a day when the bride and groom are equated to the God and Goddess and the matrimony is made all the more holy. A number of rituals are to be followed. Some which make sense and some that do not but yet you do as you are told. You are asked to go to Kashi metaphorically and you go. You are asked to jump in joy because of a girl and you jump. You are asked to come back home metaphorically and you come back. You are asked to tie knot to the bride and you tie. You are asked to keep a sweet in your wife’s mouth and take a bite and you do it. You are asked to point your wife’s eyes to Arundhati and you do it. You are asked to fight with your wife and you do it. Suddenly out of nowhere you have doll twins as your kids and you are asked to name them and you name them. That just about sums it all up. Snap! You are back as human beings, and lo and behold, you are married! Hows that for hypnosis!

A quick make up, and its time for reception. Friends and colleagues and college mates and school mates are all flocking into the wedding hall. One feels so glad to see them all. Yet, the irony is palpable. When in college, I used to have about a hundred friends. But the attendance at my wedding was in single digits. During the course of life, how far we all depart from our dear ones and how the significance fades. I had invited hundreds and only few tens had attended. Of course, many are geographically challenged and life nowadays is just electronic. Hence, I guess, I ought to count the e-attendance too!

But I guess it’s the current phase of life that always matter to everyone. Like how almost all of my colleagues had come. If they were my ex-colleagues, I couldn’t have expected the same number. Similar was the case with one of my colleague who had got married immediately after college. The whole class had attended her wedding. I guess that’s the reason why we have coined the phrase ‘near and dear ones.’

My travelogue blog has details about my week-long honeymoon. Then started a series of religious rituals. There was Pavamana Homa, Kanaka Abhisheka, Satyanarayana Pooja and Kalyana Utsava (Tirumala) in quick succession. Never before I have attended, rather, subjected to perform so many Poojas in so short a time!

Joined office early just so to see off my dear friend Preetham. Many a glorious moment have been spent with him in office during the last one and a half years, coupled with intellectually stimulating and humorously sprinkled conversations. I wish him the very best for his MBA. Well, he knows what I really wish for!

Life after that has been pretty moderate. A picnic here, a dinner treat there, and such things to keep me away from blogging! And before I know it, we are celebrating one month wedding anniversary!

One would think that after marriage, one is pretty much ‘settled’, but in my case, suffice it to say that there is a restlessness which is yet to be satisfied...

Wedding Invitation!

I am getting married this Friday, July 11th, 2008!

Kindly refer the blog-invite and grace the holy occasion!

PS: For those who are interested in the prologue....

Wimbledon 2008 Men's Singles Finals

Well, what can I say. As the commentators themselves said, 'How can we describe this? There are just no words'.

If a match even when seen in highlights can generate so much adrenalin, passion and emotion, what else can one say....Simply stupefying.

Hats off to Rafael and Roger. It was just anybody's game...

Progress or Regress?

I received a forward recently about Hiroshima and Nagasaki. One set of pictures immediately after the bomb exploded, and one set of pictures now in the year 2008. While the former showed absolute devastation, and complete debris where everything and anything seemed to have mowed down, the other was awe-inspiring.


‘How is it possible?’ is the first question that props up in the mind. Lights and buildings seemed to be everywhere, and development in full swing. Urban planning at its very best. The progress seemed remarkable. Man-made beauty at its very best.

While India, with richness surrounded everywhere, could not reach such echelons even after independence, how could a city that was absolutely devastated and reduced to rubble, raise to such heights. It seemed simply remarkable.

Such was my line of thought. I then forwarded this mail to my friends, and I got a jolt when my good friend Mahesh, intelligent that he is, responded back with a line of thought that I had never thought of:

There is no doubt that Japan and Germany have come up from nothing but without trees and plants and greenery, can one really say that the city has come up? That it has progressed and made huge developmental strides? City looks colourful in lights at nights. But during day time, we will find only concrete structures....Shouldnt there be trees also in the city? Greenery?

Very valid point. Whole of Bangalore's beautiful trees are being axed down every other day in the wake of development, for widening the roads, for mass transport train system. Bangalore-Hassan highway which was once lined with one of the finest trees, almost like a green archway for miles together, have been axed down to make the highway a 4-lane expressway.

That brings us to the questions:

1. Does development of cities happen at the cost of this beautiful world?
2. Is the modern city really progressing or regressing?
3. Is the expressway for faster commute actually destined for faster mortality?

Doogie-ing

The time is 12.45 am. Its usually that time of the night when I would have just completed my first dream and getting onto the next. The only connection to the two being a regular and rhythmic snoring drone. And yet, here I am, like Doogie Howser, typing away on my laptop the thoughts that are incessantly coming to my head. As they say, for an author - if I can be so rash as to call myself one - when words come to the head, they have to be channelised onto the paper, or the e-paper.

The last couple of days have been really hectic at office. So much so that I had to skip my violin classes. Clocking more than 12 hours a day has become a daily routine. The project in which I am working since 10 months is about to go into production (the date and time of production install is the day of my marriage – how’s that for coincidence?!!) and a number of defects are being raised at the nth moment, causing the whole project to go into haywire, and along with it went our daily routine! No swimming, no sauna and none of those pleasures I was describing in my previous few blogs.

But this working long hours and on weekends, much to my surprise, did not bring any disappointment to me. I wasn’t wary of going to the office early in the morning to another hard day’s – and night’s – work. I was rather looking forward to it. I thought about it and asked myself as to why that I wasn’t repenting such hard hours in office with no personal life whatsoever.

The answer was pretty obvious. It was because I was in the project since its inception and since I was working on it for 10 months now, it was almost like my baby. And with baby, comes affection and love, and you want it – the project, in my case – to be as good as possible, defect-free! Such is the power of love, that one’s toil doesn’t really affect one’s pleasures. It is that time when you don’t think about how much you are being paid, how much it is worth it all, but you just go there and give your best, just for the sake of your project, for your baby. And at the end of a hard days work, be it a weekday or a weekend, you will feel satisfied, you will feel deserved for the money that you are being paid, you wouldn’t really think about the lost weekend or the lost time in personal life, you will be remorse and guilt free for doing your best, and that’s what counts most. To deserve what you get. And when such a thought comes, along comes satisfaction. And with satisfaction comes that happiness, which is what everyone craves for. It was quite a realization!

So, there I was, basking with this realization, when along came some relatives to the house. As is often the case with relatives, the conversation starts of with ‘How is so-and-so?’, ‘Did she-and-she come back?’, ‘Is he-and-he doing well now?’ etc. The talk is mostly on other relatives. Invariably, the conversation somehow leads to two people in our huge family tree who are suffering from some rare diseases that no doctor on earth has been able to cure. Such is the type of diseases that it will occur in 1 out of a million cases. Absolutely bed-ridden. One of them is in her early fifties. And it is said that the only cure out of this tremendous pain that they are suffering is death itself.

It’s the most heartening for me to see such people. Really rattles the heart to think that in this era of great innovations and inventions, such diseases still prevail where Man is just a onlooking passerby with his insurmountable knowledge and wisdom. Really a pity.

When topic about disease and the victim comes up, it leads to the question of ‘Why him?’ or ‘Why her?’ Then comes the long list of good deeds that the person has done in his or her life, and one really wonders, what the person really ever do to get such a treatment at the hands of Providence. As one of my elderly guest relative put it, “Is there really anything called Divine Justice?” Very true words. Food for thought indeed.

One thing I have noticed about this elderly set of people, the people who ruled the world in seventies and eighties, is that they are really very dignified. Very composed and dressed very well. Very eloquent in their conversations. Very gentlemanly and courteous and it’s a real pleasure to talk to people like that. Sort of old-world charm, one might say, but there it is. “The real juice”, as Wodehouse would have said.

Well that’s about it. Doogie would have done a better job, I guess, to surmise this whole thing into one beautiful sentence, as he always does. I liked that part in every episode. But then, he was a child prodigy…

:)

Funda of the day

I was walking in the office campus today when I overheard one guy say to the other:

"One should never join a company which has a half-page or full-page recruitment ad."

:)

A sad day for Jayanagar

Being in a place affects you in a way of its own. It becomes part of you, of your life. You depend on it with totality, with surity that as long as you are there, the place remains; with its shops, trade, restaurants and even filth. The place around you, the environment, fills up this unknown place in your heart even without you knowing it.

On Friday night at 11 pm, fire broke out in the Jayanagar Shopping Complex area and it lasted for more than 8 hours. It burned out every shop inside the complex to black rubble. Day traders' brand new sale clothes, stationery, groceries, and other exenpsive items of sale were blackened to death. These were their sole investments. The shop was their life. Their sole path of sustenance. And by Saturday morning, everything was gone. Just like that. The heart goes out to them all.

And as for the shopping complex itself, that void in the heart can be almsot felt. It was always there since I was born. In fact, 32 years now, and suddenly seeing that it was all charred out, brings out that emotion within which cannot be expressed. One sees mortality in human beings but not in places, not in markets, not in buildings, not in inanimate worldly items. They are meant to be there, forever. But then, comes this crashing thought, that Hand of Fate, that indeed, even inanimate worldly things, including buildings, places have mortality written all over them. And it is then when such mortality occurs, that one starts feeling the love, and its subsequent loss, even for landmarks such as the Jayanagar Shopping Complex.

A sad, sad day indeed...

Ironicity

Bangalore’s Electronics City hosts of many companies like Infosys, HP, Wipro, etc. The other day, when I was just about to reach the office, I happened to notice a board that was always there. But this time, the words ‘Electronics City’ at the top of the board sort of reminded me of an irony:

The only purpose served after I studied six years of electronics has been to work in Electronics City!

***

The guy from Aquaguard had come to clean the water filter today. I was interested to see what he was really going to do. So, there I was, watching him open the filter, remove the tubes, the pipes and the works. Sure enough, the filter - and all its related contents included - was all brownish-ugh! But when I saw him how he really cleaned the filter, the ironicity, if there is such a word, hit me hard:

The water filter's filter, filled with water's impurity, was actually cleaned by water itself!

***

I went to an eye clinic today for a routine check up. They checked my eye power and dilated it so as to check the nerves. Now, dilation will result in blurriness of the eyes for a couple of hours. So an ironic thought passed my mind:

I went to an eye clinic with my eyes at its supreme best, and came out of it with all blurriness!

***

Wedding shopping has begun. The search for the perfect suit was one such shopping expedition. We were browsing though the innumerable collection, deciding on texture and color when the salesman said something about color which was, in a way, very ironic:

“Blue is evergreen.”

***

:)

Little incidents...

It was good to come home to watch an IPL T20 cricket match just getting started...
It was always a good topic at lunch to talk about the status of T20 matches...
I miss it...
:-(

***

"Ma'am, when do I learn this song and raga?"
"It comes with time and practice"

"Coach, when do I learn to breathe during swimming?"
"It comes with time and practice"

:-(

***

"Harsha, can you proof-read this invitation card?"
"Yes, dad."
I start reading....more to myself than anybody else...."C Gururaja Rao and C G Susheela's grandson request the gracious presence of you and your family on the auspicious occasion of the wedding of their grandson Harsha with..."
That is when realization hits me and my eyes bulge. "Oh, my God! I am getting married?!!!"
:-)

***

Life's mistakes

Of course, you only live one life, and you make all your mistakes, and learn what not to do, and thats the end of you.

~Surely you're joking, Mr. Feynman! by Richard P. Feynman.

Anger

Anger, they say, is a temporary madness.

About half a decade ago, I just couldn't scold anyone. A vehicle honks and cuts in my way, I am passive. Someone jumps the queue, I am a mute spectator. I see an injustice happening and I sit mum. A colleague doesn't show professionalism in his work and I just make a ball of fist and blame the Fate. I used to blame the system, the mindset of people, India, etc and just live on.

But now, boy do I shout. I stand up for what is right. I do not see "left or right", as they say, and blast a person if I find him on the wrong side of justice. My adrenalin gets all pumped up and unprintable words start coming out of my mouth. I can almost feel the mercurial rise in temper. I do not hesitate to escalate matter. I do not hesitate to talk to anyone superior. I just rip the person apart if I find him guilty. Twice in the last couple of months I have made the other person almost stop talking during the argument because of my powerful tirade.

This phenomenal change in me is scary. Half a decade ago, this is the way I wanted to be. But now that I can indeed stand up for myself and for what is right, I am not sure if this is the right way to stand up for oneself. True, in both the cases, things got done when it seemed almost impossible to get it done, because of my wrath, and I felt the success for having not been meek and submissive but yet, surely, there must be some other way?

At the end of the conversation, I am fuming and taking a break and drinking water and trying to get back to normalcy. Jeez, I think, I was fine a few minutes ago, but what made me go off the top like that?!

Moral of the day: I am getting pissed off very easily. I need to calm myself and work on my anger. I need to put the point across in a soothing manner and still get the right job done.

Question of the day: Or am I fine the way I am, because I am able to get things done right in the right time?

Just

It is nice to discuss about the project amongst team members in a swimming pool. It really irks me when people do not carry an umbrella when its raining daily and want to share with me, making me half wet in the process. I saw this huge number of crows on the road, flying here and there, making pedestrians to stoop now and then to avoid being hit, and made me wonder why the birds do not fly above earth where there is so much space instead of crowding in an already overflowing place. Feynman really hit me hard in his Surely you're joking, Mr Feynman! when he pinpointed the absolute uselessness of the education system in which I had studied for 18 years straight. There was a faint hope after I liked Pirates of the Caribbean but Chronicles of Narnia Prince Caspian is definitely not my type. It feels good to get a salary hike howsoever infinitesimal the hike might actual be. I had seen many mind-reading reality shows but today was the first time I was in one, when a performer was invited to the company campus. I am all excited about my new found knowledge of the Katapayadi Sankhya – the formula to identify the scale of any of the 72 melakarta ragas. I realized that my ideologies and thoughts almost half a decade ago were not exactly right and it came as a surprise, how as one ages ones thoughts and actions vary. The human mind has an amazing capability to adapt to its current situation as well as to the upcoming event in life in such a way that not only do you enjoy the current situation but also be ready and anticipate the future so as to get done with the current situation, as in the cases of just finishing education, of just about to get into a company, of going to a foreign country, of going back to home, of getting engaged, of getting married and life after. Its amazing how songs that one hear correlate to a person or a group of persons with whom the song was once heard, like for me, whenever I hear Bhool Bhulayya, I am reminded of Mithu and the trip to Goa; whenever I hear Fanaa songs, I am reminded to Soumik and the trip from Chicago to Boston; whenever I hear Rang De Basanti songs, I am reminded of Mithun and Ashwini when we went to the movie and Mithun drove for 45 miles at 2 am in the night without any sense of purpose; whenever I hear of Smack That, I am reminded of Mayur who gives me any song I like; whenever I hear of Zara Zara, I am reminded of my initial days in Infy Mysore with Sandhya and others; whenever I hear of Hips dont lie, I am reminded of Abhi and Archie in whose house we saw the video; whenever I hear of ….well, the list goes on. I think I will stop now.

The Deflation

There are days when one is flying like a balloon
Full of josh and enthusiasm
Of liveliness and gaiety
Brimful of life and color

And then comes this one small statement
Which is indeed full of truth
But feels like the prick of a needle
And thus starts the deflation

No more the flying; no more the josh and liveliness.
Balloon is out of air
And it lies on the floor
Just a piece of shrunk rubber

People's expectations

You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. Its their mistake, not my failing. I am what I am, and if they expected me to be good and they're offering me some money for it, it's their hard luck.

-Surely you're joking, Mr Feynman! by Richard P. Feynman