Livure

I have often observed that when something is about to happen, the mind sticks onto it even before that something actually happens.

Like when we are in school or college, when its nearing the term time, and we are about to enter the study holidays, the mind will already be set for study holidays even though its still term time. Similarly, when we were nearing study holidays end and entering into exams mode, the mind is already set to exam mode even though its still study holidays. And when we are nearing the last exam, the mind is already set to holidays.

And when we are still in seventh semester, the mind is set for projects in eighth semester. When we are nearing the end of college, the mind will be set for next few months of unemployment, job-hunting and even a job. All, even when we are still in college.

Its like making up and shaping one’s mind beforehand and getting used to the future environ. Like anticipating what is next. It reminds me of the Math chapter of limits where that expression signifies “limit x tending to y.” Its pretty natural and a common human tendency but yet at the same time its fascinating the way the mind works.

And it happens at every stage of life and in every department of life. A doctor when winding up his surgery, a batsman when there is one run to win, a priest performing last stages of pooja, a waiter serving the last plate for the day, a night-shift policeman at the break of dawn, the New year’s eve, a teacher teaching the last chapter, a pregnant woman in the ninth month, an engaged girl living the life of a wife, a person who has got a visa to US and, of course, people like me with a ticket to Bangalore in my hands! I might be in US, but my mind is already living in Bangalore, and in India!

The mind tends to move onto the next phase of life automatically and while there might be a slight bit of relaxation, there will also be a sense of happy livurity when the mind starts living the future in the present.

Of course, there are many adages that say live life for present and not to worry about future or past. But then, those adages go hand-in-hand only where ‘worry’ is associated. Its fine as long as one wishes to pre-live the future happiness!

However, unfortunate though it may be, adages might say what they say, but the human mind has a way of its own. Be it happiness or sadness, it lives the future in present. And there is nothing that can be done about it. And the anticipation of the curtain coming down is worse that the actual scene of curtain coming down, figuratively speaking.

There have been 3 movies which come to my mind which bear testimony to the above statement. The Green Mile, Downfall and Dead Man Walking. In all of the above, there is a character depicted who knows when and how he will die. And this thought of death, the pure anticipation, kills more than the actual act of Death in itself. The thought that ‘This is the end; these are the last few hours of my life’, the clock ticking away to 12 o’ clock, the last few glances, the farewell, the last wish, the last words, the last thought all become so insignificant, and resemble zombic actions because, in reality, the mind has already started livuring death and eternity.

LIV-ing in the fut-URE.

Livure.