Monday, December 03, 2007

Remembering "Eyebrows"...

Extract

***

Elaine: What, you don't think she's beautiful?
Jerry: I don't know, what's with the eyebrows?
Elaine: You know, women kill for eyebrows like that. Do you know that? I mean women pluck their real eyebrows out of their head, one by one, until they're bald, Jerry. Bald above the eyes! And then they paint in these eyebrows to look like that.

***

George: What does she look like?
Jerry: She's good looking.
George: How good looking?
Jerry: Very good looking.
George: Really good looking?
Jerry: Really very good looking.
George: What about the body, what kind of body?
Jerry: Good body, nice body.
George: How nice?
Jerry: Nice.
George: Just nice?
Jerry: Pretty nice.
George: Really good?
Jerry: Really very nice and good.
George: What about personality?
Jerry: Good personality. Funny. Bright.
George: Smarter than me? I don't want anyone smarter than me.
Jerry: How could she be smarter than you?
George: What kind of hair?
Jerry: You know, long dark hair.
George: Flowing?
Jerry: Flowing?
George: Is it flowing? I like flowing, cascading hair. Thick lustrous hair isvery important to me. (scratching his balding hair!)
Jerry: 'Thick lustrous hair is very important to me,' is that what you said?
George: What about the skin? I need a good cheek, I like a good cheek.
Jerry: She's got a fine cheek.
George: Is there a pinkish hue?
Jerry: A pinkish hue?
George: Yes, a rosy glow.
Jerry: There's a hue. She's got great eyebrows, women kill to have her eyebrows.
George: Who cares about eyebrows?

***

Closing monologue.

Have you ever fixed anybody up? Why do we do it? Why? You thought they would have a good time. And a little power trip for you, isn't it? Now, you're playing god. Of course god was the first person to fix people up. He fixed up Adam and Eve. You know, I'm sure he said to Adam, "She's nice. She's very free about her body, doesn't really wear that much. She was going out with a snake, I think that's over though."

***

Here is the complete script for all episodes of Seinfeld. As Shady rightly put it, Friends is like Basic Java; Seinfeld is like Advanced Java!!

3 comments:

SimblyDimply said...

Rightly put. Power trip it is. But its so done that nobody calls it that. Instead its smothered with euphemisms of love and blackmail.

Mani said...

ahem! ;-)

Mayuresh said...

are u kidding me.... u comparing Friends and Seinfeld....its like comparing Bryan Adams and Pink Floyd... they are not even in the same ball park...

Don't get me wrong, i love Friends (and Bryan Adams), but comparing it to Friends..

"If Friends is Java, Seinfeld is Quantum Physics"