Shrouded under mystery is the truth of the cliche "express your emotions freely." 'Shrouded', I use, as I myself have lost all belief in it, for my experiences in trying out an enterprise as the phrase suggests have always landed me, to put the blow softly, in a soup, whereas all those whom I know, grandiosely tilt the balance in favour of it, as evidently, their experiences in trying out schemes of the same aforementioned key have landed them, so to speak, amongst the Garden of Eden.
It is often said that being expressful of one's emotions is considered as being sentimental. Although being "senti" - as it is famously phrased - is considered as a part of life, it is also often ridiculed as leading one's own mind to astray and more importantly, it is attached to a person with a weak mind and one who has no control over it. [Since feelings are considered more a part of 'heart'-issue than the 'mind', I guess you can score off the 'mind' and replace with 'heart' in the previous sentence!]
Yet, as humans, one comes across situations in life invariably when one has to lay the facts bare, stop beating around the bush, and hit the button of "Moment of Truth." There is no use brooding what might happen if blah-blah-blah, or if I dont blah-blah-blah, for one will know only when the blah-blah-blah is blah-blah-blahed!!
And once the ball of the blah-blah-blah is atlast pushed across the court with as much power (and heart!) as one could muster, the recipient receives it in either of the two ways. [Mind you, if this blog was about just putting one's tender emotions toward another person, perhaps, sandal-slapping would have been one of the two ways, but then again, gone are those days. However, this blog is more about generic expressing of one's beliefs, emotions and thoughts about whatsoever topic to whomsoever it may concern]
Recipient could either hear it as the key to The Blue Skies, and swing in harmony with the blah-blah-blah and agree wholeheartedly, or as demurely and politely as one can enact such dramatic scenes, refuse to accept or acknowledge the rings of truth bearing in the blah-blah-blah. While it is true that the former will feel like 'One small step for man, one giant leap for humanity', the latter has an equivalent irreparable reverse effect of 'One small step for man, one giant leap into a sucking swamp.'
Or maybe the Providence backs only those who say the right things at the right time in the right way. Whatever it is, either Providence is not backing me up or my life has a lousy sense of timing or my mannerisms of putting the point across needs a lot of restructuring or, hitting the very core, perhaps my basic thinking has to be scrutinised, most of my frank outpourings of thoughts and emotions have left me to conclude, plainly and simply, that it should not be done! For in most cases, it has not just pulled me into the swamp, it has also pulled the recipient into a labyrinth of complications, and if there is one worst thing in life that can happen, it is putting someone else into pain for your sake.
It is hence that I started believing, "Somethings are best remained unsaid."
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
The Grass is Green
Such is the life of an employed that one cannot construe to derive any pleasures out of it, but yet goes through with it day in and day out in another one of those shoulder-needed-to-lean-on rigmaroles of life which a human has to endure nevertheless, not just for the sake of going through with it, but for a dual purpose of walking on the streets with head held high and chin up, as if challenging the rising of the Sun every day, and for the second more important reason of satisfying the tantrums of the once-in-three-hours scheduled rumbling tummy. It is at times like this that one wishes to go back to the aeons of the innocent schoolhood when all one has to do is study when its nearing exams, eat when mom forces and sleep an angel's sleep without a feather of a worry.
But then again comes the numbing memories of nerve racking experiences faced during schoolhood with sleepless nights and month long exams and incomprehensible Geometrical problems added with memorising mindless Economical Five year plans and unretentive Biological terms and what not. It is at times like those, when waiting for the school bus, there was a dream of that day of Graduation when atlast farewell is bid to education, followed by a nice pay-packet job, enabling to whiz away with one's own bike, and Vitamin M to flutter, leading to think that there will be no more tensions and no more nightouts and no more formulae to memorise.
Ironical!
But then again, as the wise men have said, the grass is always greener on the other side. Is there an "other side"?!!
But then again comes the numbing memories of nerve racking experiences faced during schoolhood with sleepless nights and month long exams and incomprehensible Geometrical problems added with memorising mindless Economical Five year plans and unretentive Biological terms and what not. It is at times like those, when waiting for the school bus, there was a dream of that day of Graduation when atlast farewell is bid to education, followed by a nice pay-packet job, enabling to whiz away with one's own bike, and Vitamin M to flutter, leading to think that there will be no more tensions and no more nightouts and no more formulae to memorise.
Ironical!
But then again, as the wise men have said, the grass is always greener on the other side. Is there an "other side"?!!
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
A Promise is a Promise
I am a great lover of movies. Blame it on genes perhaps. My granddad on mom's side is a movie freak. Even to this day he never misses any movie that comes on the local channels, be it a repeat telecast or a new one. And he enjoys it to the core and laughs the same infectious laugh which he would have laughed when he would have first seen it!
However, this inheritance of watching-all-movies-aired is not so much in me as much as it is in him, and I just taste the "few good ones". I tasted one such movie yesterday named "The End of the Affair" and was overwhelmed by it! Based on a novel by Graham Greene, this movie was fascinating in its screenplay. The flow of the story was gripping and was extremely touching in the end. Set in the background of the World War II, it depicts the story of a man and a woman who fall intensely in love. Needless to say, the story requiring it, there are quite a few scenes which ought not to be seen with children playing around, but the point I would like to emphasise more on is crude nature of life that set me thinking, can Man win against Fate?
This blog is not related to the first para (my liking for movies) nor related to the second para (review of 'The End of the Affair'). This is more to do with a miraculous scene in the movie wherein one sacrifices for the betterment of the loved one by way of a promise, and when the loved one really gets better, would one be strong enough to hold onto the promise? As its mentioned in the movie "I took a promise and challenged Fate, and Fate accepted it. But then, now I realise, I am just a weak human. I cannot hold onto my promise. I am tired. I cannot go on any longer fighting. I have failed."
That set me thinking. Will I fail too?
However, this inheritance of watching-all-movies-aired is not so much in me as much as it is in him, and I just taste the "few good ones". I tasted one such movie yesterday named "The End of the Affair" and was overwhelmed by it! Based on a novel by Graham Greene, this movie was fascinating in its screenplay. The flow of the story was gripping and was extremely touching in the end. Set in the background of the World War II, it depicts the story of a man and a woman who fall intensely in love. Needless to say, the story requiring it, there are quite a few scenes which ought not to be seen with children playing around, but the point I would like to emphasise more on is crude nature of life that set me thinking, can Man win against Fate?
This blog is not related to the first para (my liking for movies) nor related to the second para (review of 'The End of the Affair'). This is more to do with a miraculous scene in the movie wherein one sacrifices for the betterment of the loved one by way of a promise, and when the loved one really gets better, would one be strong enough to hold onto the promise? As its mentioned in the movie "I took a promise and challenged Fate, and Fate accepted it. But then, now I realise, I am just a weak human. I cannot hold onto my promise. I am tired. I cannot go on any longer fighting. I have failed."
That set me thinking. Will I fail too?
Friday, May 05, 2006
Communication
Date : May 1st 2006
Location : Onsite
Mode of communication : Yahoo Messenger
A to B : "Is X coming onsite?"
B does not know.
Date : May 2nd 2006
Location : Onsite
Mode of communication : Email
B to C : "X might come onsite. Right?"
C does not know.
Date : May 2nd 2006
Location : Onsite
Mode of communication : Mobile Phone
C to D : "I heard X is coming onsite. True?"
D does not know.
Date : May 2nd 2006
Location : Onsite (to Offshore)
Mode of communication : Orkut
D to E : "X is coming onsite."
E does not know.
Date : May 3rd 2006
Location : Offshore
Mode of communication : SMS
E to X : "You are going onsite."
X does not know.
Date : May 3rd 2006
Location : Offshore
Mode of communication : Verbal
X to Manager : "Am I going onsite?"
Manager to X : "No."
Location : Onsite
Mode of communication : Yahoo Messenger
A to B : "Is X coming onsite?"
B does not know.
Date : May 2nd 2006
Location : Onsite
Mode of communication : Email
B to C : "X might come onsite. Right?"
C does not know.
Date : May 2nd 2006
Location : Onsite
Mode of communication : Mobile Phone
C to D : "I heard X is coming onsite. True?"
D does not know.
Date : May 2nd 2006
Location : Onsite (to Offshore)
Mode of communication : Orkut
D to E : "X is coming onsite."
E does not know.
Date : May 3rd 2006
Location : Offshore
Mode of communication : SMS
E to X : "You are going onsite."
X does not know.
Date : May 3rd 2006
Location : Offshore
Mode of communication : Verbal
X to Manager : "Am I going onsite?"
Manager to X : "No."
Monday, May 01, 2006
Picture Perfect
The waves lapped at my feet. The sand around was warm. The breeze was light. It was a clear blue sky. The sun rays was just about perfect. A serene atmosphere. Picture of peace and tranquility.
I gazed out at the ocean. It was just water, water and water all round, stretching for miles and miles, from east to west, till the horizon became a dim and thin margin between the ocean and the azure sky.
There was something about an ocean which always kept me in rapt attention. It made me gaze at it for hours together without getting bored. Perhaps it is due to the enormity and near-omnipresence Divine feel. The silence in the air brought clarity to thought. The swish-swashing of the waves was like God trying to listen to one's thoughts. I could relate to the feeling of being "One with the Universe."
She was sitting beside me. I looked at her and gave her a smile. She smiled back. There were a thousand things going on in my head and I wanted to tell a hundred of them to her, and yet, I didnt, and nor did she prod me. I am sure the same thoughts were going through her. There was a mutual respect for each other's personal space. In spite of no conversation, we felt at ease, and there was nothing awkward about the companionable silence.
Just her very presence added that much more charm to the already beautiful natural setting. I felt blessed and did not want the blissfulness to end. The past did not worry me and nor did the future, while I sank in the perfect harmony of the present.
It was one of those rare occasions when one feels the swelling joy of Life being complete.
I gazed out at the ocean. It was just water, water and water all round, stretching for miles and miles, from east to west, till the horizon became a dim and thin margin between the ocean and the azure sky.
There was something about an ocean which always kept me in rapt attention. It made me gaze at it for hours together without getting bored. Perhaps it is due to the enormity and near-omnipresence Divine feel. The silence in the air brought clarity to thought. The swish-swashing of the waves was like God trying to listen to one's thoughts. I could relate to the feeling of being "One with the Universe."
She was sitting beside me. I looked at her and gave her a smile. She smiled back. There were a thousand things going on in my head and I wanted to tell a hundred of them to her, and yet, I didnt, and nor did she prod me. I am sure the same thoughts were going through her. There was a mutual respect for each other's personal space. In spite of no conversation, we felt at ease, and there was nothing awkward about the companionable silence.
Just her very presence added that much more charm to the already beautiful natural setting. I felt blessed and did not want the blissfulness to end. The past did not worry me and nor did the future, while I sank in the perfect harmony of the present.
It was one of those rare occasions when one feels the swelling joy of Life being complete.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Six to Twelve
Sun rays filtered through the blinds at about Six. By 7, I had my breakfast. By 8, I logged on to internet. I had got a mail that I had to pay my T-Mobile Cell Phone Bill. I went to www.t-mobile.com and entered user id (which is the same as my phone number) 2692679621. I entered the pwd. An x-digit number. To pay the bill, I had to provide my 16-digit credit card number.
I left home to office in my 1994 Volvo 850. I had the engine checked up over the weekend. Engine or battery check locks the stereo system. I had to reset it using another x-digit number.
I reached office by 9. To enter into the office building, I had to swipe my card and punch in a 6 digit code. Once I reached the desk, to see mails from offshore, I logged on to https://xnet.infosys.com (Infosys Intranet for onsite employees). User id as harsha_rao and pwd of a 6-digit number that comes off the Secure ID after entering the 4-digit Secure ID number that is assigned to me. As my Infosys Mail server pwd was getting expired, I had to re-type the x digit alpha numeric old pwd and create another y digit alpha numeric new pwd.
With this new y digit alpha numeric new pwd, I logged onto my Infy mails and went though the offshore mails. To get more clarity in the issues raised from offshore, I called up the Infosys Offshore number. 1800-ITLINFO. Then 1. Then my 5-digit employee ID (18549) and #. Then the 6-digit PIN given to me and #. Then 1. Then 1. Then the 5-digit Offshore extension number. It went to voicemail. Voicemail asked me to press 0 to transfer to another extension. I pressed 0. It then asked me to press the extension to which I want to get transferred to. Another 5-digit number. Once I did that, it asked me to confirm by pressing #. Once done, it went to the extension. But unfortunately, it went to voice box again.
Frustruated, I hung up. I now had to call the offshore person's cell number. There was an official phone card to be used. Its an 11 digit number. And then, had to enter 01-91 and the 10 digit cell number and #. And then 10 digit authorisation number. Thankfully, the call went through.
Next, I thought, I will give my home a call. Went to www.relianceindiacall.com. User id was my 11 digit authorisation number and PIN was an x-digit number. Once recharged, called up 1800-RELIANCE and the same 11 digit authorisation number and the same x-digit PIN. And then, entered, 91-80 and the 8 digit home number. No one picked up. Again, had to repeat the same process, but in the end, called up 91 and the 10 digit cell number.
My pop raised some concerns about my financial stability. So, logged onto www.dcu.org (My bank in US) and entered the 7 digit membership number and an x-digit password. The figures in my account was not so reassuring. Now that I was logged onto DCU, I thought I might as well update the bank details in Pay World (Infosys extranet link that needs the bank and other legal details for salary processing at onsite). I updated the Pay World link with my 9 digit SSN, 9 digit routing number and 8 digit checking account number.
Going back to the financial-stability-concern topic, I wondered how much money I had in my Indian account. So, I went to www.icicibank.com and entered my 9 digit user id and x digit alpha numeric pwd under the 'personal' tab. Was not satisfied with the figures there as well.
It was time to transfer some money to india. So clicked on 'Money2india' tab and entered the 9 digit user id and x digit alpha numeric pwd to log on. After transferring money, I logged out and browsed through my personal Email domains of yahoo and hotmail (each requiring different user ids and x- and y- digit pwds) to check if there were any significant mails to respond to. There were none. However, there was a notification of a scrap left in my Orkut Scrap book. So I logged onto www.orkut.com with my user id and another x-digit pwd. Browsed Orkut till I got bored.
I then logged onto exchange mail server of client domain with my x digit pwd. Once I was done with a few meetings, it was almost lunch time. Instead of using credit card, I used my debit card (which necessitated me to punch in an x-digit pwd for transaction to complete). Had an interesting tete-a-tete with colleagues about the greatness of the Man's mind, considering all the numbers that one had to remember these days in order to just live through the day!
Back at my desk, I went to the official library site and logged in with my 14 digit user id and x digit pwd. After requesting a few DVDs and nice books, I logged off and suddenly realised that I had to work on a few bugs assigned to me. I logged onto client's official Kintana (Defect Tracking) web site with my x digit pwd.
Once done working on those bugs, I thought I might as well check out the health benefits for which I am eligible in Aetna. One more user id and pwd. Then I thought about the salary slip that would have been posted onto the ADP site. One more user id and pwd.
Time to go home. Reached home and realised I had forgotten to upload mails to offshore. Connected remotely to office machine through RSA Secure ID 6 digit PIN number. While I was busy with this, I got a missed call on my cell. Looking it up, there was a voice message for me. That needed an x digit pwd for me to punch in before I can listen to the message. I called back the person who had left the message and had a nice hour-long chat on who will quit next.
Once done with that, had some junk food and faked it to work as dinner for the rumbling tummy. Logged onto internet once more and chatted with dear pals on "What to do in life". Realised, its been one long day, blogged this one out, and hit the sack at Twelve.
I left home to office in my 1994 Volvo 850. I had the engine checked up over the weekend. Engine or battery check locks the stereo system. I had to reset it using another x-digit number.
I reached office by 9. To enter into the office building, I had to swipe my card and punch in a 6 digit code. Once I reached the desk, to see mails from offshore, I logged on to https://xnet.infosys.com (Infosys Intranet for onsite employees). User id as harsha_rao and pwd of a 6-digit number that comes off the Secure ID after entering the 4-digit Secure ID number that is assigned to me. As my Infosys Mail server pwd was getting expired, I had to re-type the x digit alpha numeric old pwd and create another y digit alpha numeric new pwd.
With this new y digit alpha numeric new pwd, I logged onto my Infy mails and went though the offshore mails. To get more clarity in the issues raised from offshore, I called up the Infosys Offshore number. 1800-ITLINFO. Then 1. Then my 5-digit employee ID (18549) and #. Then the 6-digit PIN given to me and #. Then 1. Then 1. Then the 5-digit Offshore extension number. It went to voicemail. Voicemail asked me to press 0 to transfer to another extension. I pressed 0. It then asked me to press the extension to which I want to get transferred to. Another 5-digit number. Once I did that, it asked me to confirm by pressing #. Once done, it went to the extension. But unfortunately, it went to voice box again.
Frustruated, I hung up. I now had to call the offshore person's cell number. There was an official phone card to be used. Its an 11 digit number. And then, had to enter 01-91 and the 10 digit cell number and #. And then 10 digit authorisation number. Thankfully, the call went through.
Next, I thought, I will give my home a call. Went to www.relianceindiacall.com. User id was my 11 digit authorisation number and PIN was an x-digit number. Once recharged, called up 1800-RELIANCE and the same 11 digit authorisation number and the same x-digit PIN. And then, entered, 91-80 and the 8 digit home number. No one picked up. Again, had to repeat the same process, but in the end, called up 91 and the 10 digit cell number.
My pop raised some concerns about my financial stability. So, logged onto www.dcu.org (My bank in US) and entered the 7 digit membership number and an x-digit password. The figures in my account was not so reassuring. Now that I was logged onto DCU, I thought I might as well update the bank details in Pay World (Infosys extranet link that needs the bank and other legal details for salary processing at onsite). I updated the Pay World link with my 9 digit SSN, 9 digit routing number and 8 digit checking account number.
Going back to the financial-stability-concern topic, I wondered how much money I had in my Indian account. So, I went to www.icicibank.com and entered my 9 digit user id and x digit alpha numeric pwd under the 'personal' tab. Was not satisfied with the figures there as well.
It was time to transfer some money to india. So clicked on 'Money2india' tab and entered the 9 digit user id and x digit alpha numeric pwd to log on. After transferring money, I logged out and browsed through my personal Email domains of yahoo and hotmail (each requiring different user ids and x- and y- digit pwds) to check if there were any significant mails to respond to. There were none. However, there was a notification of a scrap left in my Orkut Scrap book. So I logged onto www.orkut.com with my user id and another x-digit pwd. Browsed Orkut till I got bored.
I then logged onto exchange mail server of client domain with my x digit pwd. Once I was done with a few meetings, it was almost lunch time. Instead of using credit card, I used my debit card (which necessitated me to punch in an x-digit pwd for transaction to complete). Had an interesting tete-a-tete with colleagues about the greatness of the Man's mind, considering all the numbers that one had to remember these days in order to just live through the day!
Back at my desk, I went to the official library site and logged in with my 14 digit user id and x digit pwd. After requesting a few DVDs and nice books, I logged off and suddenly realised that I had to work on a few bugs assigned to me. I logged onto client's official Kintana (Defect Tracking) web site with my x digit pwd.
Once done working on those bugs, I thought I might as well check out the health benefits for which I am eligible in Aetna. One more user id and pwd. Then I thought about the salary slip that would have been posted onto the ADP site. One more user id and pwd.
Time to go home. Reached home and realised I had forgotten to upload mails to offshore. Connected remotely to office machine through RSA Secure ID 6 digit PIN number. While I was busy with this, I got a missed call on my cell. Looking it up, there was a voice message for me. That needed an x digit pwd for me to punch in before I can listen to the message. I called back the person who had left the message and had a nice hour-long chat on who will quit next.
Once done with that, had some junk food and faked it to work as dinner for the rumbling tummy. Logged onto internet once more and chatted with dear pals on "What to do in life". Realised, its been one long day, blogged this one out, and hit the sack at Twelve.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Tribute to a Legend
Only a few can be what Dr Rajkumar was….
It is with regret that I have to say 'was'…
May God Rest his Soul in Peace…
Dr. Raj, I bow down to thee...
It is with regret that I have to say 'was'…
May God Rest his Soul in Peace…
Dr. Raj, I bow down to thee...
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Endaro Mahanubhavulu...
There are people......and there are extraordinary people.
Many a great men have been to this world, and many more will come. They have in them an aura of Supreme Divinity, and super human powers of unscalable measures which all but makes the others around stand in awe.
They are people whom people look upto in times of crisis. They are people who give so much to the world and to the others. They make the impossible possible. They give excitement to the Life and make something to look forward to. Life is enriched by their presence. They are worthy of Honour and of Immense Respect. Few are known to the world but many die a desert rose.
I cannot count the number of great people I know, but each one has been special in his or her own way. And for each of them....
...Andariki Vandanamulu
Many a great men have been to this world, and many more will come. They have in them an aura of Supreme Divinity, and super human powers of unscalable measures which all but makes the others around stand in awe.
They are people whom people look upto in times of crisis. They are people who give so much to the world and to the others. They make the impossible possible. They give excitement to the Life and make something to look forward to. Life is enriched by their presence. They are worthy of Honour and of Immense Respect. Few are known to the world but many die a desert rose.
I cannot count the number of great people I know, but each one has been special in his or her own way. And for each of them....
...Andariki Vandanamulu
Sunday, April 09, 2006
The Satan Speaks...
Everyone commits a crime.
Everyone commits a sin.
And not everyone intends to harm, but due to situational oscillations, in the end, the Repent stands out Tall.
And by that time, its a point of no return, and the damage is irreparably done.
The conscience of the Act makes one never to forget what one did, and makes sure future is not going to be the same happy self that it was.
Yet, one tries to make one's life as same as it was and act as if nothing happened.
But, the fear lurks that the sins of a person will always return.
And it surely does.
Its just a matter of time...
Everyone commits a sin.
And not everyone intends to harm, but due to situational oscillations, in the end, the Repent stands out Tall.
And by that time, its a point of no return, and the damage is irreparably done.
The conscience of the Act makes one never to forget what one did, and makes sure future is not going to be the same happy self that it was.
Yet, one tries to make one's life as same as it was and act as if nothing happened.
But, the fear lurks that the sins of a person will always return.
And it surely does.
Its just a matter of time...
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Letting go...
For every man, there comes a moment to "let go".
It is but the quirk of fate that makes us all to "let go".
The heart takes a leap and twists itself in remorse, but all we can do is "let go".
Tennyson : "Men may come and men may go, but I go on forever."
Finishing college is to "let go"
Bidding farewell is to "let go"
Aging is to "let go"
Denise McCluggage: "Change is the only constant. Hanging on is the only sin."
Euthanasia is to "let go"
Amputation is to "let go"
Tsunami victim: "I held my 2 sons. To save one of them, the other I had to let go"
Sidney Sheldon: But its the Fates. You cant fight the Fates.
For situations of "letting go"
As a mark of respect to times of "wow"
One can only remove the hat, and give a respectful bow
Alistair MacLean: And just continue to be the Puppet on a chain
What Achilles had in his heel, I have it in "Letting Go..."
It is but the quirk of fate that makes us all to "let go".
The heart takes a leap and twists itself in remorse, but all we can do is "let go".
Tennyson : "Men may come and men may go, but I go on forever."
Finishing college is to "let go"
Bidding farewell is to "let go"
Aging is to "let go"
Denise McCluggage: "Change is the only constant. Hanging on is the only sin."
Euthanasia is to "let go"
Amputation is to "let go"
Tsunami victim: "I held my 2 sons. To save one of them, the other I had to let go"
Sidney Sheldon: But its the Fates. You cant fight the Fates.
For situations of "letting go"
As a mark of respect to times of "wow"
One can only remove the hat, and give a respectful bow
Alistair MacLean: And just continue to be the Puppet on a chain
What Achilles had in his heel, I have it in "Letting Go..."
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
A long day at office...
Summer of 1987.
I was 7 years old. Me and my elder brother had a terrible physical fight, bruising ourselves almost to the extent of having permanent scars. My mom had intervened and did her act of scolding (which invariably follows with crying) and threatening to complain to dad. I formulated all the wrong things my brother had done which had ensued The Great Battle, so that my case wins over my brother's in my father's court.
Soon, the clock ticked 8 PM and sure enough, my dad's car turned up over the driveway. My brother and me ran to the car just as it stopped, hoping that the first man gets justice. As it happens in cases when the judge's gavel is just not powerful enough, both of us started shouting over one another, justifying our actions. My mom simply stood at the doorway and gave a brief description of The Duel to my dad and went inside. My dad too went inside the house, turned, and closed the door, leaving me and my brother out in the driveway. We were locked outside the house for more than I could care to recall. I could sense the trickle of a tear. I felt bitter towards my dad.
Today, I realised, if my kids had come running to me, complaining to me about their petty quarrels, just as I reached home after a long day at office, I guess I would have done far worse than what my dad did...
I was 7 years old. Me and my elder brother had a terrible physical fight, bruising ourselves almost to the extent of having permanent scars. My mom had intervened and did her act of scolding (which invariably follows with crying) and threatening to complain to dad. I formulated all the wrong things my brother had done which had ensued The Great Battle, so that my case wins over my brother's in my father's court.
Soon, the clock ticked 8 PM and sure enough, my dad's car turned up over the driveway. My brother and me ran to the car just as it stopped, hoping that the first man gets justice. As it happens in cases when the judge's gavel is just not powerful enough, both of us started shouting over one another, justifying our actions. My mom simply stood at the doorway and gave a brief description of The Duel to my dad and went inside. My dad too went inside the house, turned, and closed the door, leaving me and my brother out in the driveway. We were locked outside the house for more than I could care to recall. I could sense the trickle of a tear. I felt bitter towards my dad.
Today, I realised, if my kids had come running to me, complaining to me about their petty quarrels, just as I reached home after a long day at office, I guess I would have done far worse than what my dad did...
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
The Odyssey begins...
Summer of 1997.
"So, what are your plans after BE?" I asked my senior Sid.
"I will head for higher studies...GATE, perhaps."
"Wow. Isnt that supposed to be difficult?"
"Was CET difficult?"
An uncertain shake of the head.
"Is BE difficult?"
Again an uncertain shake of the head.
"It is just the thought that puts you off. Once you start, leaving behind the apprehensions, and cross the threshold, you will be in a different world altogether. All that is needed is to enter the door and the rest will be history."
I always remembered this conversation. Whenever I wanted to push myself to do something new and apprehensive, I remembered Sid's advice.
I never pushed myself hard for higher studies, but I sure crossed the threshold of creating my own blog after months of speculation....
"So, what are your plans after BE?" I asked my senior Sid.
"I will head for higher studies...GATE, perhaps."
"Wow. Isnt that supposed to be difficult?"
"Was CET difficult?"
An uncertain shake of the head.
"Is BE difficult?"
Again an uncertain shake of the head.
"It is just the thought that puts you off. Once you start, leaving behind the apprehensions, and cross the threshold, you will be in a different world altogether. All that is needed is to enter the door and the rest will be history."
I always remembered this conversation. Whenever I wanted to push myself to do something new and apprehensive, I remembered Sid's advice.
I never pushed myself hard for higher studies, but I sure crossed the threshold of creating my own blog after months of speculation....
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