Public Speaking

I have always been terrified of Public Speaking. Being an introvert, going up on the stage and keeping the audience engaged is something that I have never been fond of, or even remotely inclined. So when I was in 8th grade, my English teacher forced me to participate in a debate where each side of the opposition has to go on stage and speak either for or against a topic. I remember the topic was TV, and I made notes (which I was good at), and when it was my turn, I went to the stage, took my notes and read through the entire thing without making even a single eye contact to anyone! That was my first experience!

When I got into college, there was a huge new auditorium with a nice big podium and I was wondering how it would be to stand here and give an inspiring speech, while confidently & comfortably knowing I would never have to do it! But I did end up on that podium in my final year to participate in another debate with a handful of audience, and, thank God the acoustics sucked(!) since many folks could not even hear what we were talking on the mic.

And then I used to see many actors/actresses going on the stage in front of hundreds of people and talking so effortlessly, fluently and even making jokes, and wondered how did they do it. Like in Oscars or Filmfare Awards or even talk shows like Ted Talk or Stand-up comedy. 

When I got into the corporate life, I used to see Account Managers, clients from US who were doing the same thing albeit it was more work-related. Although there were many opportunities for me to get into ToastMasters club, somehow I found excuses not to enrol! Few more years later, I distinctly remember one of my peers sharing a picture of herself giving a technical speech in a conference in US, and this moved me the most. It made me proud of her and even inspired me. I knew her very well that she was, like me, an introvert, public-shy, knew as much as I did technically - and yet, there she was, dressed immaculately and capturing the attention of the audience. 

While I tried to keep it at bay as much as possible, the opportunity came knocking on my door in May this year when I was asked to present at Informatica World 2023 conference at The Venetian, Las Vegas, on How Informatica helped Datawarehouse Modernization, a project which I had worked on for the last couple of years. I was confident about the topic, so the content was not a problem. Still, we underwent number of rehearsals, prepared for possible questions from the audience and finally I was ready!

Thanks to the umpteen practice sessions, I was surprised not to detect any butterflies in the stomach as I went up on the stage. I was glad that seemed as easy as conversing with someone else. All those mentorship during the last two decades helped - talk slowly, keep it light and not too technical, add humor, make it like a story - and I did the best I could. I guess I did not embarass myself (which I later understood is the single most factor for fear of Public Speaking), because at the end of it, there was an ovation.

So, finally I did it - Public Speaking! Check! ✅

I promptly came back home and messaged my 8th grade English Teacher and thanked her for helping me get onto the first stage (literally) of my life! 

And now, I can proudly share my picture too!

I Love You..... Thank You!

My Mother-in-law studied Kannada Medium, and hence not very well-versed in the English language. Her first granddaughter, that is my daughter, grew up the first six years of her life in the United States, and hence the English language came naturally for her. Often times, my wife and I played the part of translators so that they two could understand one another. But at other times they managed themselves. It was quite a sight to watch these two far end of the spectrum of generations communicating with one another, and sometimes hilarious. 

In the local language Kannada, the letter "L" has two variations - one where the tongue just touches palate (usually depicted with lower-case "l") and another where the tongue rolls inwards and uncoils (usually depicted with upper-case "L"). In Kannada, the word "HeLu" means "to tell", where as "Helu" means "to poop"! So there is a ton of difference when the pronunciation changes even a bit! And, since English has no mastery on tongue-rolling antics, my daughter at that time always asked her granny to "Helu" while she meant her to tell and this used to set us all into splits, much to her chagrin as she used to wonder what wrong she said!

Likewise, whenever Tontu used to say "I Love You" to her granny, my MIL - without much knowledge of how things work usually - always used to reply back "Thank You", and this caused lot of laughter. And then, my daughter used to explain that instead of 'Thank You', she should say "I Love you too".

Cut to the present. My wife and I came across number of articles and videos where Sadhguru talks about love. One such article is about True Love. He mentions clearly here that "Love is not something that you do; love is the way you are". If you are in such a state that you can be loved unconditionally, or you have become so lovable, and because of that someone says "I Love You", then obviously the response should indeed be "Thank You"! 

Perhaps my MIL might not be an English literate but knew this all along, inherently. 

The last laugh was on us, the educated.

Welcome to Teenage!

Tontu turned Thirteen today!

Its amazing how a child grows up, in fact, sometimes almost magical. It is even more amazing to watch this phenomenon of Life. It feels like just a few days ago that I was giving her bath, with a nice religious accompanying Shloka (which almost gave me the feeling of bathing an idol) and somewhere, sometime that process logically ended and she is managing all that herself. I just have to wake her up once, and in a few minutes I can hear her in the bathroom, humming to herself! How did that happen?!

She used to sleep with us for a long time, hugging her mamma....and now she cuddles up with her toy on her own bed in her own bedroom. How did that happen?!

There was a time (long, long ago) when she used to run out of the kitchen, scared of the pressure cooker when it was about to whistle, and now she is able to light matchsticks all by herself. How did that happen?!

We never used to go anywhere without her for a really long time. Where we went, she went with us. And then we started going to the market without her, and she was fine being with her friends. And, for the first time, recently, we went out of city for a weekend without her, and she was ok to stay with her grandparents. How did that happen?!

Its not that the connection has reduced or the love has weakened, and yet, it is fascinating to see the small child grow into a young gal now, where she can manage things by herself, is responsible, able to handle the pressure in the school, work on projects individually, be creative - and do things in general without supervision or prodding or even support from her parents. 

In the process, she has expanded her wings and is able to judge to what she likes, what she does not:  Badminton class - no; Singing class - yes; Dancing class - yes; Chess class - no; And thanks to us being a nice community with its ample share of friends, lots of activities such as learning how to cycle, how to skate, how to wave board were taught by her peers themselves without us having to run alongside!

Coming to the part about singing and dancing - it amazes me what wonders she has achieved! I mean I still remember the early days when I used to teach her Sa-Ri-Ga-Ma and now, she has successfully cleared her Junior exam with great honor, and has performed on the stage on many occasions. I remembered this pic as she was sitting in the exam hall writing the exam!

Regarding Bharatanatyam - thanks to her Gurus, she has had nice opportunities in performing on stage with large number of audiences, and this not only has removed the stage fear but has given her the confidence of about expressing herself openly and in any situation.

We were extremely pleased when her book The Mystery of Strange Hill got published on Amazon when she was just 10 years of age. We were overly proud when she was the only person from her school to attend the National Spelling Bee competition in Kolkatta when she was just in her First standard. 

Add to this, the number of awards from her inter-class co-curricular activities - we are running out of space to keep the trophies! Some of the competitions which she excelled and stood first were areas which she challenged herself - such as doing a book review, advertising a product, etc.

She even made a small movie using just the mobile phone during Covid days. She has mastered making deco pics using apps on the smart phone. She has composed a huge collection of poems. And thus, her accomplishments go on and on. Proud of you, Tontu!

And now, looking forward to the next phase of life. Presenting this blog-post as one more Birthday gift...!!

Have a wonderful Birthday and a memorable Teenage Life!

PS: Quick Links for previous Birthday Posts: 

First
Third
Fourth
Tenth

Summer 2023

April 3rd: School Books distribution and Sadhguru Darshan at Sadhguru Sannidhi, Chikkaballapura

April 8th: PTM and Trichur Brothers Carnatic concert at Ramanavami Music Festival, Fort High School

April 9th: Colleague son's Birthday Party

April 15th-16th: Birthday at Tirumala

April 20th: Sivasri Namasankeerthana concert at Ramanavami Music Festival, Fort High School

April 23rd-28th: Vaishnodevi, Golden Temple, Kurukshetra, New Delhi

April 30th: Abhishek Raghuram Carnatic concert at Ramanavami Music Festival, Fort High School

May 6th-14th: Informatica world conference at The Venetian, Las Vegas and Brother's place at Detroit

May 21st: TCS10K

May 24th-28th: Bhavaspandana at Coimbatore 

Jun 4th: Colleague's Gruhapravesham

Being in India

My daughter's friend's younger sister, about 5-6 years old, who stays close to us just returned back from Australia. She had been there with her mother for a short onsite stint for about 2-3 months. 

So, our first question (when my wife and I met her) was, "Which do you like better - India or Australia?" 
Pat came her response: "India!"
"Why?"
"Because they use tissue paper."
"Tissue paper?!"
"In the wash room. Instead of faucet."

We burst out laughing! Such a nice honest and innocent response! An entire country's popularity dropped just because of washroom habit!

Soon after that incident I was talking to my brother-in-law who resides in Dubai. As of now (could be changed soon), there is no citizenship granted for Indians. So he was narrating how his fellow Indian friends who stay in Dubai do everything possible to immigrate to either Canada or US just so that they can get that country's citizenship. For some reason, upon hearing that, I felt a pang. Its not as if that this was the first time I was hearing this, because when I used to stay in US, this was an everyday office hallway discussion - about Indians waiting for GC and US Citizenship. But after settling down in India for the last 7 years, the very thought of losing out such a privileged citizenship - that of being "Indian" - seems so appalling to me now. 

And then a few days later, a friend of mine in US called me and informed that she got Citizenship. A few years back, my response would have been "Congratulations" but this time, somehow, that never came out from me. I was more like matter-of-fact "Oh ok" while inwardly thinking "How sad." 

It is hard to express the immensity of being Indian in India. Keeping apart the apathy of politicians or untidiness of places or civic sense of general public, when it comes to spirituality, there is no place like India. It might also be so that now that I am on the other side of 40 or maybe influenced by Sadhguru's talks that I am more spiritually inclined now than I was before, and being so, any other country of permanent residence just doesn't make any sense anymore. 

But, to be fair, it is true that Indians are spreading spirituality across the world by settling down in various parts of the world. In fact, when we were in US, we were exposed to lot more Indian festivities' grandeur than how we used to experience when we were in India itself, thanks to the enthusiasm of few members who used to amplify the events and create an atmosphere conducive to be Indians while not being in India.

In India, I have visited so many religious places already and yet there seems to be so many more to visit. Some of them even deserves a second or even third visit, while I know that many visit places like Tirumala annually once. The spiritual cleansing that one feels upon such visits is invigorating & soulful than a beach-side vacation that one might crave for in other parts of the world. 

There is always some thing or the other that is happening in India. A cousin's wedding, another cousin's son's naming ceremony, another cousin's in-law's Sahasra Chandra Darshanam homa, an aunth's death ceremony, a yagna at an uncle's house, a musical saint's commemoration ceremony, a religious saint's Pontification day ceremony, a communion of spiritual seekers to celebrate night-long festivity singing hymns of the Lord, a special day to take river bath to cleanse oneself from accumulated sins, a day for fasting to welcome the birth of the Lord, and the list goes on and on. If you notice closely, every event above is conducted spiritually and involves divinity. 

To be away from India is almost akin to be away from the Divine.

Mutt Fiestas!

Jan 26th: Naming ceremony @ Seethapathi Agrahara Mutt

Jan 28th: Purandara Dasara Aradhane @ Konankunte Mutt

Jan 30th: Madhwa Navami @ Konankunte Mutt

Feb 5th: Pavamana Homa @ Madhwa Narayana Ashrama Mutt  Had to forego another function on same day @ Uttaradi Mutt!

Feb 11th: Kanakabhisheka @ Konankunte Mutt

The Subconsciousness Conflict

Off late I have become conscious of the water that I am drinking, thanks to many videos (experiment) and articles (Isha, Neerukku Nandri) that I have come across. I might not bow down every time with gratitude to the glass of water before I drink but I am automatically closing my eyes before & during the drink. This has now become a regular practice.

Last week when I was driving, I felt thirsty and started drinking water from the bottle. While I was drinking, I could sense a state of unrest and I was wondering why. It then flashed to me that I was actually driving with my eyes closed! And if closing my eyes while drinking water has become one part of my subconscious, there was another "driving" part of my subconsciousness which always ensures my eyes are open while driving, and in this case it was raising a red flag that I was doing something which I never should.

It was a very strange experience indeed: Two parts of my own subconsciousness conflicting with one another!

The Ball in The Game

It was more than a decade ago, sometime in late 2011. The place was Fidelity office in Boston. I was attending a talk by a distinguished Executive-level employee on the nuances of Money, stock market, retirement funds, corpus, defined benefits, defined contributions, etc. all of which are centrally linked to what Fidelity deals with. It was a huge gathering and almost 200-300 people were in the auditorium and I was amazed at how well this person was speaking - so fluently and so fluidly that even the person least knowledgeable could easily understand. 

He started off his speech with a reference to a famous game that had been played just the previous weekend and the home team had come out victorious. He indicated that we all could appreciate the game only because we knew the rules of the game. If there were no rules, or if we did not understand those rules, then one would just see the ball being passed from one person to the other. We would not even differentiate from one team to the other, from home team to opposition. The point being - understanding of the rules is so important in a game without which one cannot fully appreciate the victory. 

He then correlated that sports game to this game in life which we are all playing with Money. If one does not understand the rules properly, then how can one excel, how can one create a surplus which would lead us to financial freedom which could, in turn, be considered as being victorious in our own lives. This analogy I felt was very powerful and what he said made absolute sense.

Now, cut to the present. Jan '23. I was doing some household chore and was listening to Sadhguru's speech. He was mentioning how we all are stuck in this web of transactions and that, in itself, is the cause for us to not get liberated from this cycle of birth and death. This constant urge to make profits, more profits, from small car to big SUV, from small house to mansion, etc. gets us hooked more and more into the rat race making it so difficult to get out. 

Finally, he said this - 

"You think you are playing a Game. But in the end you find out that you are actually the Ball in that Game."

🙄 

Fast, Feast, Birth, Death - The 4 days in 2023

Jan 2nd: Fast - Vaikunta Ekadasi. Absolute fasting - nothing eaten and bare minimum water intake.

Jan 3rd: Feast - 'Breaking of the fast' by way of Dwadasi lunch at Raghavendra Swamy Mutt. Also happened to be Raghuttama Tirtha's Aradhana. Hence the feast.

Jan 4th: Birth - News of my maternal cousin's son's birth. Finally a 'boy' born in the family after 26 years.

Jan 5th: Death - News of my paternal cousin's death. First amongst us cousins.

The Mystery of Moist Lips

I came out of the restroom one day in office, and just when I was exiting, I washed my lips, or rather I made them wet. For a moment, I stopped in my tracks and wondered why. The next shocking revelation was that I had been doing this for as long as I could remember! I mean, it had almost become habitual for me to wet my lips when I was exiting the bathroom. Almost like - I would as if feel I am walking out of the bathroom naked if I didn't wet my lips. Or the other way round, if ever someone saw me coming out of the bathroom with my lips un-wet, I would get caught.And there, incidentally, lay the answer to my unusual habit...

Back in my childhood days, I used to visit my maternal granma's house for summer holidays. During those times, the houses were designed in such a way that the toilets and bathrooms were outside of the main house. Which means, you had to get out of the back door of the house (if the house was big enough), walk a few steps and you can then enter the toilet. In case the house was small and there was only one door, still, the toilet was away. No matter what, the ablutions could not be carried out under the same roof as where you ate and slept and did pooja, etc. So, in the dead of the night, if you wanted to relieve yourself, yes - you had to open the door, go out in the dark amidst cockroaches, lizards and other-what-nots (thieves included!) and come back in quickly cursing why your bladder was incapable of holding up till daylight. And in case it was raining, God save you. 

Despite all this, toilet inside the house was a strict no-no. In fact, this at that time was a 'modern' house. Because a majority of Indians (which was rural then) did not even have a dedicated toilet or bathroom, and Nature was where everything happened. Now compare this to the current generation where we have a bathroom every few steps. Each bedroom will have a bathroom in addition to the common bathroom which is closest to the living room. 

But of course, I believe there was some science behind how the houses of the previous century was constructed in India. Daily ablutions purges the body system from all possible toxins, unwanted bacteria and viruses. The complete set of wastes in our body gets thrown out. The obnoxiousness in the air associated to such wastes obviously needs to be far off from the other parts of the house where we usually spend our time during the day. In fact, the outhouse-kind of toilets did not even have roof or shelter so that there is lot of free air flow to eradicate the obnoxiousness. But nowadays we are stuck inside a small bathroom, completely packed like a matchbox and totally relying on even small exhaust fan to suck out that air. 

And not just that, we spend a lot of time in that same toilet thanks to the "ingenious" new design of bathrooms containing wash-basin (toothbrush), mirror (make-up, grooming, shaving), shower (bath), etc. in addition to the water-closet. Oh, add some more time - I forgot  to mention the mobile phone! No wonder, it would seem, diseases for humans are ever increasing, newer and newer hospitals are sprouting up in every corner of the society, more and more pharmacy stores, etc. Such did not seem to be the case with a typical 'Indian lifestyle' back then.

But lets get back to the topic now. So, my mother's mother was a strict authoritarian. What she says, has to happen. So she made me cultivate a habit of washing my mouth (yes, like how you do when you brush your teeth with mouthful of water, roll it around and spit) every time I came out of the bathroom. I guess she rightly felt that the foul, disease-filled air inside the bathroom (despite being far away) would somehow get into the mouth and hence one had to wash the insides of the mouth whenever one exited. This is personal hygiene taking many notches beyond imagination.

For me, it just didn't make any sense back then as to why I should wash my mouth (of all places) when I relieved myself. So I used to happily ignore my granma and come out, but she would rebuke me to a great extent and, worse, she used to make me go back in and get it done. And so I invented this ingenious way of making my lips wet so that when she saw me coming out of the bathroom, she would know that I have washed my mouth! Ta-da!! And that's how this tradition of mine started. It then became so much of a routine that even when I now go to bathroom just to wash my feet, still I will exit with making my lips wet! The subconsciousness habit of mine will ensure that my dead granma even if she sees me now exiting a bathroom will still think that I have washed my mouth! Strangest thing is that I never realized this strange of habit of mine until now, and used to blindly do for the last 35+ years!!

So next time if you see my lips moist when I am exiting a bathroom, you know the story...!

Goodbye after 17 years!!

 

The first house that you own will always remain special....

Dec 10th, 2021

 

Nirjala on Vaikunta Ekadasi

"Ekadasi", in my childhood meant, not eating the usual day-to-day meals comprising of Anna (rice) and Rasam or Sambar. It meant a day of lot of "tiffin" items comprising a variety of a typical breakfast snacks like Poha or Chapathi or Poori, etc. Contrary to the true meaning of Ekadasi when one is supposed to fast, it was a day to look forward to!

My mother used to fast, her mother used to fast, and it went on so. I didn't know why this tradition was followed but I am not the kind to ask questions (although I knew it was kind of a 'religious' thingy). I just eat what is put on my plate! My mother seemed normal during the fasting days but when I was at granny's place, I used to see her really struggle during Ekadasi. She used to puke and become very weak yet her resolve to not break the fast was so strong that despite whatever happened she never used to eat although she used to cook yummy food for us all grandchildren. But I used to wonder what is the whole point of doing anything (related to a religious practices) despite such struggles.

Flash forward to the recent past, my better half started "full-day" fasting, not every time but on and off. Inspired by her (and also to ensure she didn't cook food that she couldn't eat herself), I too started to delay my breakfast. Began with fasting until noon and then staying rest of the day on fruits, nuts and vegetables, basically staying on uncooked food. It didn't seem to be too hard as I thought. Then pushed it by few more hours like until 4 pm. Then until 6 pm. Yes, there seemed to be a mild headache but it was not unbearable. In fact, when it started to become too much of a strain, I used to break the fast. The intake reduced drastically on Ekadasis. Not any more those sumptuous, yummy-licious Ekadasis of my childhood!

Yesterday was Vaikunta Ekadasi - the mother of all Ekadasis, and wifey said she will do nirjala, meaning fasting without even drinking water. She has done it few times in the past as well. In fact, she goes one notch higher by even doing Mouna Vrata, meaning no talking the entire day too, and that includes not indulging in any kind of gadgets as well like TV or mobile or iPad, etc. Inspired by her, I thought I might as well try nirjala as long as I could. I thought I could last maybe until noon.

Noon came and went but I felt ok. So I thought let me push it further. 4 pm came and went, still I was A-ok. Nearing 7 pm I felt very easily that I could last the entire day. Not even the head ache this time. Not weak, not anything. Just normal. Chanted full Vishnu Sahasranama at 8 pm. In fact, I worked the entire day just like how I do every day. I even helped my daughter with some home-made salad that she wanted to prepare and eat for herself.

Thankfully there were no late night meeting and I could retire to bed at half past ten. And as I hit the bed, I felt great that I could do Nirjala Ekadasi too, just like my wife, my mom and her mom and her mom. And I didn't even puke. It felt like a great accomplishment indeed. It was always something that I thought could never be done by myself. It is true what they say: it is more in the mind than physical.

The day after, in the morning, I did feel a tad too low and pukish. Kind of felt very weak and wobbly. But had three glasses of lemonade with honey and I was back to normal. Not sure if I can do this again or even if I want to. But it sure feels good to have done it, and blogged about it!!

PS: The videos by Amarendra Das & Sadhguru on Ekadasi fasting offer (pun intended) food-for-thought!

Variety Dinner for the Family!

Saturday: Set Masala Dosa, Rava Idli, Idli Vada

Sunday: Sev Puri, Jain Bhel Puri, Plain Dosa

Monday: Home-made Maggi Noodles

Tuesday: Gobi Manchuri, Veg Hakka Noodles, Idli Vada

Wednesday: Capsicum Puff, Khara Bun, Plain Bun, Dil Pasand, Sandwich, Chocolate Cake

PS: This reminded me of my old posts - this, this and this!

Another Birthday Present!

Those of you who thought The Princess Story ended, well, you were wrong! This, lo and behold, is Part 2!

The grit and determination of the Princess which made her the Champion continued beyond the College Days into her Life itself! Just out of college, it was now time to be "Independent". But being a Princess, it is not easy to 'break free', right? We all know how hard it was for Elsa to leave her Kingdom! 😊 Despite the strong bond with her parents, she managed to convince the King and the Queen that she had had to live on her own feet, that too, in a different city! After much reluctance and perseverance, they gave in, and the Princess came to Bangalore in 2006. With some help from relatives, she set herself up as a Paying Guest in one of the lush localities which made her instantly fall in love with the city. The first great achievement followed soon after - getting a job! With unemployment soaring back then, and thousands of graduates pouring into the city in addition to tens of thousands of graduates already in the city, it was not so easy. But our Princess got through!

Next up was the natural process of finding herself a suitor. In the country that she was in, it was not a natural and easy thing for girls to publicly call out for the male species for marriage. Usually it happens through family network of parents or relatives. But, the Independent Princess, that she was, standing on her own feet, went into a Cyber Cafe (non-existent nowadays), set up a profile in Bharat Matrimony (the Karnataka version of it) and poised herself up for the next greatest achievement: becoming a Queen. After about 190 odd rejections for all kinds of odd Princes, she finally chose one who seemed to be sound and resonated with her well. The best part was his (yours truly!) birthday was on the same date as hers! Five months later, on July 2008, she was no more a Princess. She became the Queen!

Marriage took her happiness to several notches up. Literally too, since she travelled with the King to many places suddenly. Traveling was not something that she had thought too much about, but the King being more of an adventurist and explorer, she hopped on the wagon and made several local trips. Beauty of the Nature caught on to her. Then, with the King having to move to other part of the World, the excitement could hardly be contained. The Nature beckoned in all Her glory in the Beautiful Lands of United States of America in 2009. Weekends meant Traveling! Abruptly, though, the King had to travel back to Motherland and she accompanied him much to her chagrin because she was getting ready for a dance performance just a few days later. Alas, it was not to be. However, it was just as well, because her next achievement was due: she gave birth to her own Princess in 2010! What better way than being on Motherland, near her own Mother!

Next couple of years involved Motherhood and Parenting. Total Involvement. Beautiful and cherished years of her life. Once again, she moved along with the King and her Princess to US, this time for six long years. In 2012, the previously lost chance of a dance performance in US came back. While the last time was an informal, self-prepared, twisting of hands and legs, this time around was under the guidance of a Guru who was dedicated to Bollywood. This involved continuous classes, rehearsals, many long hours of preparation and intensity. Just like a decade ago when she became a Champion, she was now all-in, fully-focussed. Fully taking care of the needs of her the then toddler Princess (who bemusedly looked at her mother on stage dancing away to glory not really understanding why but understanding enough that it seemed to give her joy), the Queen finally made it to a Big Grand Stage in South California to celebrate 100 Years of Bollywood. In all, she performed in about 8 dance sequences including one solo. This was a massive tick in her list of achievements! An 'always-wanted-to-do' thingy!

Soon after, the King's work took him away from SoCal. But the Queen was satisfied with her dance - the performance on the stage was a culmination of the ambition. Now, with the princess no longer being a toddler, travels came back with a bang. Every long weekend was meticulously planned and researched far ahead in advance. From the lonely islands of Hawaii to the desert lands of Arizona, from Niagara Falls to Key West, from Disneyland to NASA, from the Land's End in Mexico to the Northern Lights in Alaska. Mind you, it still was not easy. Indeed, it was an achievement in itself! Being outside on -22 degrees Fahrenheit on an icy night in Fairbanks to watch Aurora Borealis with a Pre-schooler. Three layers of clothing, socks and gloves but still hands get numb because the blood freezes, thats the effort involved! But all worth it. Those colorful greenish, pinkish hue on the dark starry sky! One thing that got missed out during that Alaska trip was the visit to the Arctic Circle which the Queen badly wanted to experience. Not to fret, Mission Accomplished in 2016! 

It was now time to get back to beloved Motherland India for good. 2017 was a new year to settle down afresh. In a Palace. In a school that could be relied upon for the next decade for the Princess. It took many months but finally got the bases settled. But, then, the Queen was not yet done! With her immense love for the kids, she always wanted to be a Kindergartner teacher. Now, mind you, there are several qualified teachers who want to do this for a living, for daily bread. But this Queen wanted to be a teacher just for the love of it. Again, just like a decade ago, she was back amongst qualified folks trying to get a job with hardly any experience. Again, just like a decade ago, she excelled herself and got through as a Kindergartner teacher in 2018! It was like an unimaginable dream come true! 

After enjoying an year of teaching and getting loads and loads of love from infants, toddlers, kids, picking them up and swaying them for hours, (oh yeah, wiping away their running noses too!), she felt fulfilled with herself and her next dream ignited of being a singer. With her Princess now learning Carnatic Music from a Music Guru, the Guru was kind enough to involve the Queen too in non-classical devotional and folk-tale song renditions. Once again followed many days of training and practices, just like the 2012 Dance days! Success follows those who struggle. Soon, she was on stages of Kannada Sahitya Parishath & Ravindra Kalakshetra. Another massive accomplishment!!

Next up was the toughest of the lot. The Queen had come across Sadhguru's videos in 2015 and now being in India, it was easier to access his practices and ashram in Coimbatore. So, as soon as she got back to India in 2017, she completed the course on Inner Engineering and started practising regularly the Shambhavi Maha Mudra. Then she started reading a lot about Spirituality, Kundalini, Liberation from the cycle of Birth and Death - the works! Now Isha has carefully crafted a number of spiritual programs, one after the other, to finally taste a completely new dimension of life. The Queen went through all of this and decided to go all out! After Inner Engineering, next was Bhava Spandana. It is a 3 day residential program in Isha Center, Coimbatore. This meant staying away from her Princess for the first time in her life. She opted for it. It was heartening to see the mother-daughter cry when the bus pulled away. Next was a week-long Hatha Yoga program, thankfully that was in same city few hours daily. Manageable. Penultimate was Shoonya. This was again a residential program in Coimbatore. Once again the separation. And then the final round of selection for the Ultimate Advanced Program: Samyama - a 8 day, no-talking, no-eye contact, residential Meditation program. Needless to say, she breezed through this one. It was the first time she was staying away and alone from family for such a long time. Samyama is like how folks back in the olden days used to do Tapas, no less. Thanks to Sadhguru who has crafted this program for the mediocre & bourgeois to experience this dimension of life. 

Our queen successfully completed Samyama and now all she has to do is sit quietly and tears will flow down her cheeks. She experiences Oneness with the Universe, the Creator within herself. The initiations that she has been through has cleared away her Karmic debt and she has experienced the awakenings of the different chakras within her body. Like the Green Mile movie, she can experience the pain of others as if it is her own. The other day, she watched Aruvi and she cried her heart out feeling the exact pain that Aruvi went through! It was surreal. This dimension of life, which only human beings can experience and no other living being on earth, has been initiated to her through her guru Sadhguru - and it has only been possible because she is a devoted student, through her many hours of sadhana every single day, no matter where she is (airport, railway station, train, hotel, etc.). What an achievement, huh?!

Well, that could have been the toughest, but that is not yet it! Just a few months back, the Queen ignited one another of long cherished dreams of learning Bharatanatyam dance! Although this is an art form that needs to be learnt at a young age, the dance guru of the Princess (who also started learning) encouraged her and the Queen is already making great strides! The recent accomplishment has been a devoted Mother-Daughter dance. Another tick in the already huge list of accomplishments of the Champion!

Now, will there be a Part 3 of this series?! Only time will tell! 

But, here I am, once again, seven years later presenting this blog-post as another (hopefully immortal) birthday gift which will make her smile and wonder how she has achieved all those immeasurable and seemingly insurmountable hurdles over the last couple of decades!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR!!

Jondig Holocaust

Usually, after 11 pm at our home, we do not venture into the living room or any other part of the house. We are on the bed, reading book or gazing at some digital device (I know it is bad!) or, even better, sleeping! But there are these rare instances, when one feels thirsty and, lo and behold, there is no water jug nearby! Someone forgot to get it! So, one of us walks all the way to kitchen to get the jug of water. It is about 25 steps away that takes one through a corridor, and then part of the living room and finally to the kitchen. I know, a big house, right? 🙄

Well, anyway. In these 25 steps, after 11 pm, anything can happen. Because, you see, it is not the time for humans to be walking around. It is for the nocturnal creatures! And the Jondigs are our usual visitors. We believe they make their way from the umpteen sink-holes and drain-holes that we have in our apartment. Despite being on the 7th floor. 

So, anyway. Now, when this person is walking towards the kitchen, being totally aware of his or her surroundings, as if ready even for a tiger or a lion to be lurking around, it is not surprising that he or she catches sight of this roach happily crawling on the sparkling white tiles - somewhere on the 12th or the 13th step - at the sight of which comes out a shriek that doesn't move the Jondig anywhere and yet I will be there in a flash with the super-efficient Hit spray. It will take me a minute or so, and I will be gassing the roach away to glory. The roach will be poisoned and liberated in the next minute.

Now, every time I do this act - I somehow cannot help feeling that these roaches on which I am spraying poisonous gases were those cruel Nazis at one time in their previous birth who gassed & exterminated hundreds of thousands of Jews in the concentration camps. It would be a fitting thing.

However, what about my very act of gassing these roaches? How will it impact me and my future lives? Definitely there is got to be a karmic re-bound. 🤔

Unless I myself was one of the exterminated in my previous lifetime getting my Redemption now!!

Bowing down to the Sun

Mr. Sun, Mr. Golden Sun..!

Please Shine Down on Me..! 

One day morning, some time in late 2016, when I was still in the Bay Area in USA, I returned home after dropping my daughter to school, parked my car and walked towards my apartment. The walkway from the parking spot to the apartment was small, cobbled and there was lush green grass all around. As I walked on this path, I spotted a man standing erect on the grass, barefoot, his face looking directly at the Sun but eyes closed and his hands folded with great reverence. I was seriously taken aback looking at this sight. There was something about this whole thing that shook me to the core. Upon closer look, he was an Indian and that kind of made some sense and yet it was really captivating. It was also early winter, which meant the air was chilly and the land was cold, so jackets and boots seemed the norm and yet this gentleman here was barefoot and with no jackets, just giving himself away to the Sun. This scene has stayed on with me to this day.

Three years later, around mid-2019, when I was waiting for my office bus to pick me up, I had to stand at this place where the rising Sun caressed its rays on me fully from head to toe. So, there I go, right in front of everyone, I face the Sun, bow down my head slightly, fold my hands in full reverence and bask in His glory - although not barefoot. It was quite something for me to do this in public and slightly being conscious initially. But then I started to do this daily, and it became a routine and I was no longer aware of people staring at me. In fact, I started looking forward to doing the "literal" Surya namaskar daily. There seemed to be a lot of positivity in simply acknowledging the Creator for his creation (me). Sadhguru has spoken in many instances how important the Sun really is in our life, how we are all really solar-powered beings. Just understanding this basic fact and bowing down to Sun makes a world of difference.

In the past, whenever I went to pilgrimages and I used to take bath in rivers or in holy ponds, I (like everyone else) used to sit cross-legged facing the Sun and perform the Divine rituals. It always felt good, and in fact, I even felt purified by those actions. That too, was something that I always looked forward to. But I realized only later that even this simple standing devotion to Sun, even in the middle of a bustling road on my own city - or even in my own home - is sufficient to feel the positive vibes.

Now, it is not just once a day affair. Anytime my wife or me come to the balcony, we just look at the direction of Sun (even if not visible due to the concrete jungle that we live in), and simply bow down our heads with folded hands in great reverence - whether it is first thing in the morning or if it is noon or even if it is past sunset - and (I hope) that will go a long way to be part of the Divine Grace.

As I read once in a Saibaba temple - 

Divine Grace is eternally available everywhere like Sun rays or Rain drops. The only question is: Are you willing to soak in it...?!

And she turns 10...

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Wife, Daughter & the Chair

So this happened on Dec 26th, 2018 in Bodh Gaya at about 2 pm. But this blog post has no significance to the day, place or time actually except I remember because there is a dedicated travel blog-post (call that free marketing for my travelogue blog!)

It was extremely hot even though it was winter. In fact, the wintry chill only commenced after the sunset. We were walking from the main Bodh Gaya attraction (Peepal Tree in Mahabodhi Temple) towards the Giant Buddha statue and we were famished at that time as we had a light breakfast. Plus the walk in the sun had drained us all out completely. My eyes fell on a seemingly South-Indian restaurant because it was called Tirupati South cafe. It had both an indoor and an outdoor setting, and we chose the shaded outside because there was a nice breeze under the restaurant's shelter. 

I washed my hands at the wash-basin, arrived at one of the tables and took a seat while my daughter and wife went to the washroom. I relaxed and stretched after all the walking and tried to get some breather. After a few minutes, my daughter came and asked me if I could move and take another seat, as she wanted the same chair upon which I was sitting. I got annoyed at her and asked her to adjust in one of the other seats that were around the round table, and I didn't wanted to be disturbed since I had already sat. She meekly chose one of the other chairs.

The waiter came and asked if we were ready to order, and we chose full thalis. The clay pot for the bread was right close to us (outside) and it was fascinating to see the cook masterfully rolling the dough until it became paper-thin and tossed and weaved it on the long stick which he then used to place it deep inside the clay pot. The waft of the bread was alluring and we were waiting for the order eagerly. I asked my daughter to go near the clay pot and see how the cook prepared naan and rotis.

After some time, my wife came from the washroom towards the table where I was sitting and asked me to move to a different chair. Just when I obliged, my daughter too came back to the table and saw what just happened, and she asked me, "How come you shifted out of your chair when Ma told you to and you didn't when I told you to?"

It may seem strange but this question took me completely off-guard. In fact, I hadn't even realized that I complied to my wife without any questions but I completely ignored my daughter's exact same request, and even annoyingly scorned at her for asking me to shift after I had already sat. My whole action of having shifted the seat after my wife asked was done as if in sub-conscious trance-state despite the fact that I was tired and I didn't wanted to be disturbed out of my seat.

So, while I blabbered something to my daughter as a response, I thought of a reason as to why I did what I did. Several questions rummaged through me - 

1. Do I love my wife more than my daughter?

2. Do I take my daughter for granted?

3. Why couldn't I say the same thing to my wife (that I told my daughter) and be scornful to her too?

4. But then, why was I scornful to my daughter in the first place?

5. Was I afraid of my wife not taking my 'No' as a response as against the way my daughter would? 

6. Have I stopped saying 'No' to my wife?

7. Was I just abiding to my own promise of taking best care of my wife's needs?

8. Do I care for my wife's happiness more than anything else in the world - even if I had to be disturbed?

Frankly, I had no right answer. It was a mix of all of the above plus more, I guess. 

I felt nice for what I did to my wife though, really, but repented for having said no to my daughter in the first place. So, I made up for it by getting her an ice-cream for dessert! 

And then, we lived happily ever after!

😊

The Midas Touch to the Newspaper

 My daughter's friend (aged 6) and my daughter (aged 9) were scribbling all over the newspaper today and going gaga about it. They were breaking into fits of laughter and doubling over. It was so much fun just to see them. All they had with them was a black pen, one for each of them, and sheets of Times of India newspaper including the Bangalore Times. 

After a while, they both came running to me and showed what they had done:

1. They had blackened all occurrences of the word "Covid" on the main sheet.

2. There was a photo of a model, barely-clad, and the girls had drawn a dress and covered up all the exposed skin.

Just goes to show how easily two young kids can understand negativity and not-so-nice stuffs to something good! It is such a little act and yet so portentous - loads of learning for the Editorial staff of major dailies.