Phrase of the day

"Take it with a pinch of salt"

Wiki definition: to accept a thing less than fully

My definition: a way of putting things across with subtle opposite implied meanings :)
[Smiley included in the definition!]

Ma

I recently saw Taare Zameen Par. It’s a very nice movie, kid has acted tremendously, Aamir Khan adds another feather to his cap, and all that. But the purpose of this post is not to write a review on the movie but to highlight a point that I thought about when I saw a song in the movie.

It was a song where the mom wakes up early morning and prepares breakfast for hubby, lays the dress to him and then when hubby leaves to office, again prepares breakfast for first son, lays the uniform for him and when first son leaves to school, the chores start all over again for the second son.

It made me think as to what would make a woman do this as against being like the hubby who just wakes up, has breakfast and leaves to office? Isnt it infinitely simple and rewarding to earn money to the family than undergo this constant 24*7 routine of ‘being the good house-wife’ which actually has no value in present-day outlook of life?

But then I realized, I mean its a big sacrifice to her career and all, yes, but doing all that for your loved ones is an even greater joy, and one that can even be considered as a project of a different dimension; of bringing up your kid in a way that makes your family and society proud; especially that scene in tennis match when they want to see the child win is like seeing the output of your program! And the scene when she cries because she left her son in boarding school is synonymous to project going bad and she as a prime member being responsible for it. But all these would be at a more a personal level than a project which is executed in office for which there is really no personal or emotional attachment and value.

But then, an important point was raised by my dear friend Harini when she said that a real career oriented woman would want to achieve the best of both to the best possible extent. Not necessarily being a high achiever in office but sufficient enough for her to be recognized as an individual outside the confines of the house and her family. Any given time the personal project will have more priority but definitely a career oriented person wouldn’t just want to stay at home.

Well, suffice it to say that I am proud of my mom...

The Sun and the Moon

The Sun and the Moon
Both are in the sky
Both are round
Both rise and both set

The Sun burns itself
And emits light
Its made Earth a warm place to live
And has made life easy to sustain

But the Moon is appreciated more
For its beauty
For its grandeur
For its splendour

Although crowds gather for sunrise and sunset
The moon is appreciated for its presence in the night
The moon is written about in poems
The moon is compared to for things of beauty

So there is the Sun
All through the day
When we are busy with our chores
And hardly notice it
Yet forgetting that we are awake
Because he is there
To offset the darkness

And then there is the Moon
All through moon rise to moon set
When we have to just look up at the Sky
And appreciate star-studded moonlit sky
Thoroughly thanking
Because he is there
Amidst the darkness

Irony, isn’t it?

:)

"Pop! goes the weasel"

Memory

I had an excellent memory for a long time. But off late, it simply has vanished. I am finding it difficult to remember names, remember faces, conversations enjoyed, jokes shared, storylines of novels read, coding done in different languages. And this lack of remembrance, lack of memory is extremely disconcerting.

I met a guy in Gayana Samaja today at a Carnatic Vocal concert. We had worked together for a couple of days in putting up a Classical concert during Oct of last year (hardly 4 months ago) in office, but today I failed to recognize his face and his name, much to my embarrassment.

I then found a profile in Orkut who happened to be my 3 yrs junior in Engineering. Apparently we used to travel in the same bus 6 years ago and she remembers me very well even though our paths have never crossed since 6 yrs and even in Engineering, I had never ever spoken to her nor made friends with her! And this is what she had to say: “How can u forget a person in this short 6 yrs?” If she knew about today’s incident, she would think I am demented!

And then later today, I was chatting with another junior of mine and she said “One day in bus u called me and when i turned and asked what, you said nothign turn back.” Christ! This was too much!

And like a drama unfolding itself, another chat window opened up and popped “u remembered abt my US plans? I had told u once…” Well, to say that I had no clue abt the person's US plans would be an understatement! Since this drama seemed to be only by me and for me, I couldn’t help laughing at me!

But when I saw recently Life in a Metro, I could easily recollect a similar storyline in The Apartment. Bless my memory (or at least the lack of it)! Speaking of movies, I saw Chak De too. Perhaps it was my high expectation based on its huge popularity or perhaps it is because of the number score of sports-coach related movies that I have seen (like Glory Road, to name one for instance), it didn’t seem all that great, but yeah, watchable.

Well, the mere fact that I am able to relate and compare means I haven’t lost it all.

At least not yet.

When the God smiles…

…all will be right, and the stars shine down…

Of Sin

"If what the teacher says is true, Baba, then you drinking alcohol makes you a sinner."

"I see that you have confused what you are learning in school with actual education. Now, no matter what the teacher says, there is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft. When you kill a man, you steal a life. You steal his wife's right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone's right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness. There is no act more wretched than stealing. A man who takes what is not his to take, be it a life or a loaf of bread...I spit on such a man. If there is a God out there, then I would hope he has more important things to attend to than my drinking scotch or eating pork."

- Khaled Hosseini; The Kite Runner

Of Bygone Relationships

Odd, Galahad Threepwood, was thinking, how after 30 years, he could still have that choked-up feeling when he thought of Dolly Henderson. Oh well, what had happened had probably been all for the best. Pretty rough it would have been for an nice girl like Dolly to be tied up with a chap like him, he felt, for he had never had any illusions about himself. His sisters had often spoken of him as a waster, and how right they were. His disposition was genial, he made friends easily and as far as he could recall had never let a pal down, but you couldnt claim that as a life partner he was everybody's cup of tea. And people who knew them has described Dolly and Jack as a happy and devoted couple, so what was there to get all wistful and dreary about?

- P G Wodehouse ; Galahad at Blandings

Traits of a successful man?

Hair
Prominence to hair and hair-style.

Attire
Dressed-to-kill and dressed-for-the-occasion.

Brand
Its either branded or its not.

Knowledgeable
Fluently knowledgeable on most topics. Evokes a jaw-dropping monologue.

Speech
Clarity in speech and focus of mind. Knows exactly what he is speaking.

Humour
An amazing sense of humour. Might not rip you with laughter but surely a joy to talk with.

Confidence
Meets an eye with an eye. Exuberates power and liveliness.

Girl Friend
Wins a girl than being handed on a platter. The beautiful adjective is superfluous.

Wife
Marries the girl friend and leads a happy life with her for the rest of his life.

Foreign
Settles down with a luxurious life in US or UK.

Saying of the day

When you’re looking at the planet from space, there are no borders… Borders are what people create.

-Sunita Williams, in her telecon with Infoscions during an event.

2008

And so its another new year. The usual New Year wishes of "prosperity", "may your dreams come true", "new goals", "new hopes", "happiness", etc gets passed from one to another, to mark the occasion and celebrate and cheer.

But I guess I have become cynical. Whatever's gonna happen is gonna happen anyway, and the above wishes just remain on paper as wishes. India won the 20-20 World Cup in 2007 and I hadnt even dreamt about it and it gave utmost happiness. But in the same year, I lost my maternal grandparents in a tragic car accident which caused a permanent blackhole. There were lots of things which I hoped for in 2007 but didnt happen and there were lots of good things that happened which I hadnt expected.

Goals, hopes, prosperity, achievements, dreams.....yeah, yeah. Heavy words.

Alright, lets turn the page for this new chapter. And see what its going to offer. More importantly, what I am going to do in it!

An Indian Queue

To a great possible extent, the Tirumala Tirupati Devasthanam authorities have ensured that queue is structured and have maintained steel barricades for miles together. This, in effect, metaphorically speaking, is like having the dog on the leash.

However, at certain places, this structured queue is not constructed, plainly because of the lack of such expected population. Even so, there are times when the human queue extends the constructed structured queue.

I don’t think I will be wrong when I say that we Indians in India are pathetic when it comes to following an unmanned queue. Even though this seems to be a generalized statement, the actual culprit is only roughly about 20% of the actual Indian population. I have spent considerable time in the United States to further generalize that people in US (including Indians) are so well-mannered and well cultured that they really do not need any leash to handle human or vehicular traffic on their own.

I mean, there we are standing in the queue to obtain the darshan of the most coveted Hindu lord. One would think we are standing in the queue out of devotion, of piety, and upholding the much-talked-about “rich Indian tradition and culture.” But when I saw the people jostling, hustling, bustling, knocking people down, stampeding, jumping queues with an impish grin, looking for short-cuts, shouting unnecessarily, it hardly looked as if we in the queue were upholding any of India’s culture or mannerisms. If anything, this has become our culture, of knocking brethren down to one’s own glorification.

But, surely, that is no glorification? Deep within one’s heart, isn’t it clear that jumping queues is a bad thing to do?! And that too in Tirumala?! Aren’t we in Tirumala to cure ourselves of the bad things we did in the first place?! We might be religious, but are we cultured, well-mannered?

The queue seems more like a marathon. With TTD’s agonizing system of bottling and penting up people in boxes of human cage, and also in queues, the whole thing goes even more awry. It is common knowledge that anything which is pent up, like the spray of a soda bottle, surges out like volcanic lava. So, when such a bottled neck is opened, there is nothing but an absolute commotion and stampede. The mass of humanity, the old and the middle-aged, the teens and the babies, all merge together as if we are creating a nuclear fusion! The stinking sweat and the massive rude crowd lessen the iota of devotion, chastity and spirituality that one actually goes to Tirumala for.

But I guess the queue in TTD is just a simile for age-old world-famous Indian traffic woes. The way people honk till you get deaf, the way people make you blind by never dimming on a 2-way road with no median and the way they make you scream at them and show your clenched fists with set teeth! All in the name of rushing ahead, of overtaking, of occupying space before you do, of not waiting, and in short, of uncivilized behavior.

Often I had stood in vehicular queues in US, such as a busy intersection of 4-way crossroad which was unmanned and had no traffic lights. Vehicles are lined up on all the 4 roads to a great extent and there is no one to guide who should go and who should stop. Naturally, the common sense prevails, but more importantly, the culture stands out. Vehicles which have come first, go first. But more significantly, vehicles which haven’t come first, give way for the vehicles which came before them. There is not a single honk. It is an automated system of civilized behavior. It is even a pleasure to be a part of it, of contributing to the naturally man-made synchrony without a maestro. Nobody needs to be taught this nor can this be taught. It should be imbibed and enacted to perfection.

When such a system prevails, when such common sense prevails, when there is no need for a traffic policeman with a baton to leash the neck, that is when a nation can be called "cultured" and "civilized". Probably, even "developed".

Navaratna's Navaratnas - II

...contd from Part-I.

One must get creative about living.

One must dream about what one wants out of life.

There is nothing wrong to demand more out of life.

It really does not matter what in life brings it to you - if it is what you want.

Our meaning in life is both personal and communal.

Nothing is a waste if the experience is used wisely.

Remember that no one is against you; it is their system that is speaking.

We find great solace in attributing meaning to life's events; Man's obsession for reason.

The departed near and dear ones will always live with you in your thoughts, actions and ideas.

"Must See" - I

I have been getting quite a lot of requests to suggest some "Must See" movies. I have been fortunate enough to have seen some good movies over the last 3 years which I myself brand as "Must See". So I thought I might as well start a chain, and share the names as and when I see. This is the first of the series:

Note:
1. These are strictly my personal recommendations and personal choice. Just dont want to encourage any debate on personal likings.
2. Currently very few Hindi movies fall in this category. Hence restricted myself to just list down English ones for now.

Schindler's list
The Italian job
Rat race
Memento
To be or not to be
The Shawshank redemption
The Terminal
The English patient
Enemy at the gates
The shape of things
Road to perdition
Requiem of a dream
Troy
Pulp fiction
Reservoir dogs
City of god (cidade de deus)
The green mile
Last of the Mohicans
The patriot
Braveheart
Clockwork orange
Snatch
Crash
Cinderella man
Patch Adams
21 grams
A few good men
The constant gardner
Rabbit-proof fence
Good fellas
Gods must be crazy - I
Gods must be crazy - II
Men of honor
The usual suspects
Hotel Rwanda
Before sunset
Before sunrise
Glory
11:14
Blood Diamonds
October sky
Amores Perros (Love’s a bitch)
Trainspotting
Lock, stock and 2 smoking barrels
Glory Road
Courage under fire
The Bourne Identity
The Bourne Supremacy
The Bourne Ultimatum
Pirates of the Caribbean
The Mask of Zorro
An Inconvenient Truth

Harikathaamruthasaara

This snap was taken by my uncle in the hotel room he stayed in Riyadh for a short duration. My uncle had a habit to listen to Harikathaamruthasaara (Divine story of God: through chanting) - stored in the laptop - every morning.

Every time he switched on the chanting, a pigeon came and sat near the window (visible in the middle of the snap). It always stayed for the entire duration of the chanting, and as soon as the chanting got done, it flew away.

Fascinating, isnt it?

60 Tonnes on my name!

~Thanks to Janet (and of course the sponsors), over 500 trees were planted in and around Koramangala this weekend.

~Yours truly contributed to absorption of 60 tonnes of CO2.

~"If we do not take action now, there will be no ice in Arctic by 2013 summer" (TOI Dec 13th)

~Came across these sites to battle global warming. An excellent initiative by a city that is always united in its approach. Be it hours after a terrorist attack. Or to make this world a better place.

~As I read recently in an open source software's readme doc: "If you like this software, I suggest donate generously to the betterment of the society. The world doesn't have to be a bad place." How simply and succinctly put!

No one's fault, yet...

There were 3 seats in the bus when I boarded. First one in the middle of the bus, the empty seat being in between the aisle and the window; Second one being almost at the end, again between the aisle and the window; And the third one at the very last. The second one seemed good because the aisle and window passengers were relatively slim compared to the first. Nothing much to choose between the first and the third in terms of space except that third was bumpier due to its geographical position in the bus but had more leg space.

So when I saw the first empty seat, I rejected it because of the heftiness of the passengers on the aisle and window seats. I proceeded to the second one, which seemed to be the best. But as I neared, I realized that somebody had put a bag there. Which meant the seat was reserved by someone, who had perhaps just gone out to get some air. When I had already come thus far, I decided to forego the first seat and opted for the last seat, and risk the bumps with extended leg space.

Within a few minutes of me having occupied the last seat, 2 members boarded the bus. The first member saw two empty seats now, and, like me, decided for the second one and moved towards it. Meanwhile, the second member who had boarded, seeing that the first person forewent the first seat and was going for the second seat, had no choice but to squash down in the first seat.

Now, when the first member came towards the apparently empty second seat, like me, saw the reserved bag, and realized that there was no seat here. But unlike me, she didn’t have any other seat. And she realized to her horror, that the seat which she had just foregone also was now occupied. Which meant, there were no seats for her to sit on in the entire bus, although there was actually, in effect, one seat when she had initially boarded the bus which ideally should have belonged to her! She was left with no choice but to alight and choose another bus where perhaps she would get a seat.

Considering the situation, and the plight of the victim, one couldn’t blame the victim because the victim was just trying to get the best seat; one couldn’t blame the person who had reserved the seat because such a scenario couldn’t have been foreseen; one couldn’t blame the second person who boarded the bus for having taken the first seat because, for all practical purposes, the first person gave up this seat to go for something else which the second person doesn’t know that its reserved and first person didn’t get it eventually! Clearly, no one’s at fault, and yet, there was a victim in the whole scheme of the things.

Does this imply that the first opportunity you get, you should grab? Does this imply that the person who alighted, got a better opportunity later, going with the axiom of ‘All for good’?

It wasn’t too difficult for me to appreciate the bigger simile in life.

Finding Yourself

When you find yourself
In some far off place,
And it causes you
To rethink some things.
You start to sense
That slowly you’re becoming someone else
And then you find yourself.

When you make new friends
In a brand new town,
And you start to think
About settling down,
The things that would have been lost on you
Are now clear as a bell.
And you find yourself
That’s when you find yourself.

Well you go through life
So sure of where you’re heading,
And you wind up lost
And it’s the best thing that could happen.
‘Cause sometimes when you lose your way
It’s really just as well.
‘Cause you find yourself;
That when you find yourself.

When you meet the one
You’ve been waiting for,
And she’s everything
That you want and more,
You look at her
And you finally start
To live for someone else.
And then you find yourself;
That’s when you find yourself.

We go through life
So sure of where we’re heading,
And then we wind up lost
And it’s the best thing that could happen.
Sometimes when you lose your way
It’s really just as well.
Because you find yourself;
Yeah that’s when you find yourself.

Such a beautiful lyrics. From the movie Cars.

Remembering "Eyebrows"...

Extract

***

Elaine: What, you don't think she's beautiful?
Jerry: I don't know, what's with the eyebrows?
Elaine: You know, women kill for eyebrows like that. Do you know that? I mean women pluck their real eyebrows out of their head, one by one, until they're bald, Jerry. Bald above the eyes! And then they paint in these eyebrows to look like that.

***

George: What does she look like?
Jerry: She's good looking.
George: How good looking?
Jerry: Very good looking.
George: Really good looking?
Jerry: Really very good looking.
George: What about the body, what kind of body?
Jerry: Good body, nice body.
George: How nice?
Jerry: Nice.
George: Just nice?
Jerry: Pretty nice.
George: Really good?
Jerry: Really very nice and good.
George: What about personality?
Jerry: Good personality. Funny. Bright.
George: Smarter than me? I don't want anyone smarter than me.
Jerry: How could she be smarter than you?
George: What kind of hair?
Jerry: You know, long dark hair.
George: Flowing?
Jerry: Flowing?
George: Is it flowing? I like flowing, cascading hair. Thick lustrous hair isvery important to me. (scratching his balding hair!)
Jerry: 'Thick lustrous hair is very important to me,' is that what you said?
George: What about the skin? I need a good cheek, I like a good cheek.
Jerry: She's got a fine cheek.
George: Is there a pinkish hue?
Jerry: A pinkish hue?
George: Yes, a rosy glow.
Jerry: There's a hue. She's got great eyebrows, women kill to have her eyebrows.
George: Who cares about eyebrows?

***

Closing monologue.

Have you ever fixed anybody up? Why do we do it? Why? You thought they would have a good time. And a little power trip for you, isn't it? Now, you're playing god. Of course god was the first person to fix people up. He fixed up Adam and Eve. You know, I'm sure he said to Adam, "She's nice. She's very free about her body, doesn't really wear that much. She was going out with a snake, I think that's over though."

***

Here is the complete script for all episodes of Seinfeld. As Shady rightly put it, Friends is like Basic Java; Seinfeld is like Advanced Java!!

Remembering "Life backwards"...

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus?!? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you are young enough to enjoy your retirement.You drink alcohol, you party and you get ready for high school. You go to primary school,you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby. You go back, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap. Then you finish off as an orgasm!! Amen!"

Popularised as George Costanza's take on life in Seinfeld. One of the best unforgettable quotes I have ever read...