Silence

As the bus approached the traffic signal, the light turned red. The bus gradually came to a stop. It would be a long wait. Most traffic signals these days in Bangalore do not change lights up to 3 full minutes. The driver cut the engine. The noise now was one that of the neighbouring oncoming traffic who got the green.

I looked inside the bus at my co-passengers. We all were heading towards office. It was about 8ish and I knew many would have boarded the bus at about 7. It was still an hour’s journey, and hence more than half of the people were dozing. To catch up on the lost sleep; to be fresh to tackle the day’s work when they reach the office; to just avoid being a part of the annoying traffic.

Strangely, like a vacuum, or like being within a sound-proof bus, the noise within the bus itself was next to nothing. Pin-drop silence, as they say. Not a single person was talking on the phone, not a single cell was ringing, not one person talking. Everyone was immersed and involved in his or her own world. Sleeping, or listening to radio or reading a novel or just blindly staring at the traffic. Although we all worked for the same company, at that instant, none knew their neighbour. For all practical purposes, each one was a stranger to the other. This is what big companies do. One’s identity gets restricted to one’s project team.

For some reason, this scene reminded me of a number of instances which I had experienced in my life. There was this first week of my engineering college, when we used to travel in college bus. None knew one another and awkward, pregnant silence prevailed everywhere. Each wanted to do better in the course. There is always the desire to do better during studies.

There was this time when I was sitting in an interview room with my peers – all unknown to me. Each one wanted to do the interview well to get a job. We were all strangers. There was an expectant silence. Expecting to get their name called for the dreaded interview. There is always is an expectant silence in the waiting room prior to undergoing interviews.

There is the hospital waiting room. All are strangers with their near and dear one’s struggling for life in the ward. There is nothing to talk, but there is hope that things will get well. There is always hope in a hospital waiting room.

And then there is this bus. They are all my colleagues. But I know none of them. Hence there is no conversation. No idle talk. Just people. I am just one among the crowd. All hoping to have a good day at office. All wanting to do better. All wanting to achieve something.

The light turned green. The driver started the engine. The bus filled with the noise of the engine. It was like oxygen filling the vacuum. People almost sighed with thankfulness. Perhaps because it was our turn to go.

But I felt the thankfulness because it evaporated the silence. Silence was weird. Uncanny. Uncomfortable. Lonely. Noise was so much better...

Thought for the day

Should I laugh or should I cry?!!

Thought for the day

No one will be happy if they are told that they are not doing a good job, right?

Neutral Vision

"What is neutral?" My wife asked. We were discussing about the gears in the car.
"Neutral means neither here nor there." I replied, referring to neutral not being any gear per se. And added spontaneously, "Neutral is Narada." Then we both burst out laughing. What I said was so true! I mean, with so many mythiological references to English words, who knows, the word 'Neuter' came out of Narada's character!!

It wasnt long after that that I suspected 'Vision' to be borne out of the Hindu God 'Vishnu'. Vision for organisations in most cases remain asymptotic; always tending to reach its destination or goal but never doing so eventually - which is the same in an orthodox Hindu life, trying to follow the norms set forth by Vishnu so as to attain Him in the form of Moksha but never really being able to do so in reality...

Phew. Me and my thoughts...!
:-)

"munde daari kaaNade..."

One sack o'er my left shoulder...
One sack o'er my right shoulder...

Trodding on the mud road...
In the middle of the dense forest...

Not knowing where I am...
Not knowing where I am going...

I chance upon these three roads...
Forking away from the road I am on...

One on the left, one straight on and one on the right...
Each being the same muddy road as the one I am on...

Each lacking in knowledge as to its destination...
Just as the same road I am on...

With two heavy sacks on my back...
I know not which one to choose...

Should I choose the right...
Or should I choose the left...

Should I go straight on...
Or is there some other path that I am not seeing...

I am reminded of Lowell's words-
"Once to every man and nation there comes a moment to decide..."

I am reminded of Sri Raghavendra Swamy's words-
"munde daari kaaNade kundide jagadoLu..."

12000 and counting...

"It is perhaps the first time in the history of cricket that a batsman waved to the crowd thrice in an innings and raised his bat in acknowledgement to the standing ovation each time, and still had not completed a century..."

Sachin's became the highest run getter in Test Cricket.
Sachin got his fiftieth fifty in Test Cricket.
Sachin crossed 12000 runs in Test Cricket Cricket.

French Beard!

Well, I guess there is a first time for everything!

:-)

Thought for the day

Pappu cant dance saala....

Contentment

In this everlasting universe of turbulence and high seas, there are occasions when all is at peace and there is absolute contentment and bliss. Its like those good ole golden days which most of us would have experienced when we were aged one month or so, comfortably snuggled in mother's lap, with stomach filled to the brim and our legs pedalling an imaginary cycle and enjoying the virtual ride of our life...

The day is just perfect after a fitful good night's sleep. The weather is not too hot nor too chilly. The sky is blue. The children are playing cricket on the road. Its a holiday. People are relaxed and in a festive mood. There are no planned agenda. No tension whatsoever. No deadlines to meet. Nothing bothering the mind. The mind is just plain empty, free of all worries. Nothing to think of. Not bored either. One needs such days where you just wind up and rejuvenate yourself. Just take it easy...!

I am reminded of the novel Swami and Friends by R K Narayan. So refreshingly plain and innocent.

Life, too, is so simple.

Sleep!

Monday: Got up just before my stop...

Tuesday: Got up at my stop...

Wednesday: Got up one stop after my stop!

Thursday: Got up two stops after my stop!!

Friday: The conductor woke me up!!!

Unconditional Love

Today while I was sitting in the balcony, enjoying the Saturday evening coffee, I noticed my neighbour return from factory (note that the job was 6 days a week and it was ‘factory’, not ‘office’), and climb the stairs to his house. His face lit up with a huge smile and broad grin to see his two-year old come running towards him with outstretched arms. It was such a nice happy scene to behold!

It reminded me of something. Immediately after the accident episode last year, my two-year old cousin was made to stay in our home so that my mother could take of her while her own mother recuperated from the leg injury sustained due to the accident. My cousin stayed with us for about a week. It was during those times that I really used to look forward to coming home and seeing her, however worse the day was. It was like being a school child all over again, eager to come home and start playing, despite home-works and punishments at school. There is no love comparable to a kid who comes running to you with outstretched arms and a wide smile…

The other side of the coin, huh?

Its all about stories...

I just finished seeing a wonderful documentary about how Jim and Jennifer got stuck in the middle of snow and cold and went without automobile and food for close to ten days and still finally made it. Along with that small kid that they had with them!

I then took up the novel which I am currently reading: Life of Pi. It seems to be a true story of a small boy who finds himself in a life boat with a zebra, orangutan and hyena in the middle of Pacific Ocean. And yes, there was a Bengal tiger too!

Some time later I started blogging about the day that was and the phase of life I was undergoing. To do so, I had to think about what to express and what to mask and yet ensure that when I look back at the post some couple of years later, I know exactly what I was enduring. This was my story.

When we watch movies, we are seeing different stories picturised. When we read books, we see the world through the author's stories. When we read blogs, we are catching up on stories of our friends. When we meet up with old pals or call them up, we catch up on each others' stories. We see social networking sites and check out friends' albums to update ourselves of their stories.

I realized then that life is all about sum total of individual stories that sometimes intertwine with others, sometimes made public but most times die out without real publicity. And needless to say, all stories are fascinating in its own way.

And that’s how it all ends eventually. Just a story in which each one of us has played a part unknowingly…

Aaaaaaah....

That hurt.

The Month for the Departed

I was walking on the road when I saw this car that made me go ‘Wow! This car is amazing’. What style, what grace. I aint so good with cars and their models so I waited till it passed me so as to see its back where the name was mentioned. Gosh! It was Hyundai Verna.

That’s the car which killed my grand parents.

Isn’t it so convenient to blame what happened on an inanimate object as a car? But why to blame in the first place? Isnt it said that we all deserve what we get? The so-called Karma. Is it really true that a counter is kept to count the right things and count the wrong things and be punished for the wrong things?

At the time of funeral, so many nice things were said about my grandmother, as to how she used to donate sacks of rice to so many people without telling anyone. And few can beat her devotion to the Lord of the Seven Hills. And yet such a gruesome death she faced with that sharp-edged rod having pierced her forehead and her blood having gushed out of the mouth onto the Tirumala-Srikalahasthi highway.

Why do I keep thinking of death? Why do I keep thinking about my grandparents? Why do I keep blogging about them even after 1.5 years? So much so that my first conversation and even my first chat with my wife involved this topic. Is it because it was the first time Death was so near me, just 3 generations away? Or is it because they meant a lot to me? The more you hear of Deaths, the more it is near you. All my grandmother’s sisters had passed away, and most of her friends. When that happens, I am sure, you would be feeling ‘I am next.’ So much so that you are anxious to get over it instead of suffering common man’s life’s miseries which comes with old age. You crave for it.

Couple of my batch mates have succumbed to natural death already. Its really sad to die at an age of twenties when you are supposed to enjoy the most and live life to the fullest. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that my turn is nearing too as my aged folks are dying already but it really makes one think that one moment you are there and another you are gone. Pooof!! And that’s it. Death is nothing but absence of life. I am reminded of Lynds* every time I think about Death.

This month for Hindus is a month in which all the departed souls – not just the near and dear ones - are honoured by offering rice. Invitation to 3 such Rice-Offering ceremonies in consecutive weekends for me.

No wonder I am thinking so much…

*Lynds: Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other, body all worn and used, screaming “Whoo hooo!! What a ride!"

Thought for the day

Indecision has led to inaction.

:(

At last...

Phew. This one was a long time due. I can almost sense myself sighing that I have got it out of my system...

Well, literally. Out of my laptop system onto the world wide web, for everyone to see...

Happy Birthday to my youngest and dearest "Celluloid"!

Happy Birthday!

How grand it all looks,

How absolutely rich,

In culture, in colour and in splendour,

Like a fullness of its own.

Thought for the day

Before college, you play with life...
After college, life plays with you...

Source: Rang De Basanti

While the pendulum swings, the clock ticks...

Human beings with their tamperings do something wrong, leave the damage unrepaired and when the adverse results accumulate, work with all their might to correct them. When the corrective actions appear to be successful, they come to view these measures as splendid accomplishment.
~ The one-straw revolution by Masanobu Fukuoka

One of the most fascinating things I find is how a job is created or money is earned out of a system that is actually not working the way it should. I mean if the system was working fine and there were no issues, then the opportunity would not have even existed. While most crib about the system not being well, and blame the higher authorities, some take it up as a silver lining and create it into a business opportunity.

Take for instance, the power cuts. A country, ideally, ought not to have power cuts. It is the Government’s responsibility to ensure that there is electric power supplied to all consumers 24 * 7. Yet, in reality, at least in under developed and developing countries, there is no constant supply of power. Come to think of it, there are a number of rural communities who aren’t even aware of something called electricity. So, this is a system that is actually not working the way it should.

Most of us blame the Government. I mean that’s the easy way out of the frustration. But not so, for many entrepreneurs. They are the ones who milk the system to their benefit. Many factories hence have opened to cater to the millions to provide 24 * 7 power supply by manufacturing UPS boxes. Many organizations excel in solar power electricity generation and cater to the rural millions.

And there we are, all happy, proudly displaying our UPS boxes to our relatives while actually we are displaying our own system’s inefficiency. So, yes, the system is bad, but nevertheless, employment has got generated to many who have made use of the inefficient system, which is actually good.

***

Ditto is the case with water. Not just the sheer availability of it but the purity too. There are many areas in the under developed and developing countries where water, potable or not, do not reach the common man. Which is bad, because, again, it is the Government’s responsibility to ensure that everyone has easy and complete access to water, the basic essentiality for a human being.

However, many “private water suppliers” took birth. They supply the water to waterless localities by transporting water available from other localities at a nominal sum as fee. And not just that, a number of quality organizations have come up to ensure purified water who cater not only to those waterless localities who obtain water from private water suppliers but also to localities where Government supplies water. Now, it is the Government’s role to ensure potable water is supplied to one and all, and they may be doing so indeed for all you know, but so much insecurity has got built-in into the local consumers’ mind about the Government’s inefficiency and inability, that it is not hard for a marketing executive of a water purifying company to convince the consumer about the hazards of Government’s water, and the common man, gullible that he is, purchases such water purifiers especially because water is such an essential part of day to day life with so much added significance for it to be pure.

And there we are, all happy, proudly displaying our water purifiers to our relatives and boasting how good the water tastes and all that, while actually we are displaying our own system’s inefficiency. So, yes, the system is bad, but nevertheless, employment has got generated to many who have made use of the inefficient system, which is actually good.

***

One more glaring instance is the road transportation. How did private transportation system come into the picture? The very basic reason being the Government was unable to cater to the millions, there was a huge gap in the supply and demand, and the system just couldn’t perform effectively. Which is bad, because, again, it is the Government’s responsibility to ensure that the common man can travel from one place to another reasonably and with comfort.

However, many “private road transportation” companies opened up. Some have big popular banners which cater to overnight journeys but many are those who cater to short term transits where the local transportation doesn’t or are very few in number. Not only does this private transportation assist in meeting the demand with the supply, but also assist the common man by innovation. Such as, water bottles, fancy curtains and light, movies, near-by drop points, easy pick-up points, transits between locations never catered to before, etc. I mean this is business at its very best where an organization (private) came up because of some points lacking with some other organization (Government) but the former beating the latter at its own game by sheer innovation, advertising and popularity.

And there we are, all happy, boasting how good the private road transportation is and all that, while actually we are displaying our own system’s inefficiency. So, yes, the system is bad, but nevertheless, employment has got generated to many who have made use of the inefficient system, which is actually good.

***

Another case that comes to mind is the train coaches. Many localites, few urbanites but mostly ruralites, have this really annoying habit of eating junk food in train compartment and scattering the remains on the floor, making it really dirty, and then alighting, much to the chagrin of those who then take up those same dirty compartments. Which is really bad, because, it is the common man’s responsibility to ensure that cleanliness is maintained not just for oneself but for others too.

However, now comes our rag picker with his rag shirt and dirty little cloth, yet clearing all that junk in few swift motions. In few seconds, the floor is all clean again and the rag picker asks for money which you will be glad to part with. I mean, anything to have a clean floor!

And there we are, all happy, boasting how clean the floor looks and all that, while actually we are displaying our own system’s (or should I say people’s) inefficiency. So, yes, the system is bad, but nevertheless, money is being parted to the deprived who have made use of the inefficient system, which is actually good.

***

Even the much talked about concept of outsourcing comes inline within this debate of good and bad. Outsourcing, for the uninitiated, simply means that tasks that are to be done in place A is done at place B. Now if that task was indeed done in place A, amount X would have to be paid but if the same task is done in place B, then amount X/2 or even X/3 would have to be paid. On top of this, there are jobs which need overnight support and the jobs also involve high pressure and tension. Of course, this doesn’t seem reasonable for folks at place B, right? Something bad huh? Folks who work in software outsourcing industry are often called as software coolies.

But in reality its not actually a bane but a boon. X/2 or X/3 is sufficient amount of salary after the currency conversion. Overnight support and high pressure during work is not a reason to crib. It exists in all occupations. Doctors, truck drivers, airline officials, to name a few. But not just that. There has been a huge boom in employment. Unemployment percentage has reduced drastically not just in skilled labour but also in unskilled labour. Engineering students who cannot higher education get jobs soon after graduation. Millions who flocked the urban areas from rural areas found employment in terms of drivers for night shuttle cabs, some autorickshaw drivers got permanent clients, catering industry boomed, so did tourism, states earned huge tax. It gave an opportunity for the developing nations to become developed nations thereby reducing the economic gap.

The amount of ‘Good’ actually surpasses the ‘Bad’ when it comes to outsourcing. The folks in place A are happy that job is getting done for a lesser rate. Folks in place B are happy that they got job. So one really ought to appreciate and applaud the pioneers who got jobs to developing nations and also to those pioneers in developed nations who approved of it and were willing to take the risk and thus started the whole business of outsourcing - a classic case of creating a job opportunity when it didnt seem to exist! But it gets bad when folks in place A are fired to outsource more and more jobs to place B just because job is getting done cheaper. Somewhere a line has to be drawn.

***

Couple more instances where I found this good-bad ratio was when once I had been to BIAL (Bangalore International Airport) and once when I went to pay the Vodafone bill. In the former case, when I drove in my car to the parking lot, there was a machine which when pressed outputs the parking ticket. Now that is an automated machine designed such that the driver can drive close to the machine and hence press the button to retrieve the ticket so that the toll gate opens up. Everything is supposed to be automated, right? But no! There is an attendant standing beside that machine 24 * 7 just to press that button as and when a car comes and take that ticket out of the slot and give to the driver! I mean, what a boring and absolutely useless job! Ditto was the case in the automated Vodafone Bill Pay machine. It is an ATM like machine, where you have to punch in your cell number and it will give the amount due and you plug in your card or pay cash and the transaction is done. But no, there is an attendant who stands beside you, guides you, although there is sufficient information on the screen and just whiles away his time while those educated enough to know what to do complete the transaction without his help. All this, while there is also a manual counter just beside this machine for those traditional, unmodernistic, standard, stand-in-line-and-pay folks!

I mean, the whole system is meant for automation and yet we have manual intervention and tedious jobs. Which implies that there is something wrong with the system. Yet, it is good, because it has generated employment! Still, the fact that some part of my money (be it in the form of BIAL parking or Vodafone’s rental) is perhaps unnecessarily going as salary to an employee whose task is useless is a thing that wouldn’t give a good feeling! However, if this is a case of bridging the socio-economy gap, then, yes, it is a good thing! Such a see-saw of Good and Bad!

***

It is a common observation in a country like India that many motorists take short cuts. So much so that they defiantly break the rules of the Law and take the best possible route irrespective of one-ways and medians and jumping red lights. This is bad right? Of course that is one perspective. But it would be a good thing if it is considered in the light of savings that is effected in terms of fuel consumption. So, short cuts when seen in whole and effected by millions would indeed be saving the nation barrels and barrels!

***

Ditto is the debate about bribing. Suppose I were to be caught by the cops for overspeeding and suppose the fine for overspeeding was Rs 200. Now, if I were to pay Rs 100 to the cop and get away without a Government receipt, as if nothing had happened, it would be beneficial for me, because I saved Rs 100 and no black mark on my driving, and it would be beneficial for the cop because he just became Rs 100 richer. Of course overspeeding is just one reason. Any transaction involving Government official is a case in example. Both the parties are happy and it’s a win-win situation. But ethically this is bad.

However, considering the pathetic state of the economic and financial stability of a Government official and also considering the meager wages that one earns in a Government job, it does feel good once in a while to be again that agent in bridging the financial gap. Of course, it is indeed true that a Government official at times earns more during the under-the-table dealings than through his own salary. So that’s when the amount of the bribe is crucial. If the amount of the bribe is helping the poor become richer, then its ethically acceptable compared to a case wherein the amount of the bribe making the poor poorer.

***

And there, I will end this ethically long debate of the good and the bad but just like the Grandfather clock of the good old days, the pendulum keeps on swinging between the right and the wrong, and the clock makes best use of it by ticking along…

Just pondering...

Is there an international etiquette of when to pull the door and when to push the door? I am very interested in this question especially because, all the buildings in my office campus follow the rule of pulling the door when going out of the building and pushing the door when entering the building, and this rule has ingrained so much in me that subconsciously if I am going out of any building anywhere in the world, it has become a tendency for me to pull and if I am entering any building anywhere in the world, it has become a tendency for me to push irrespective of the sign on the door which might indicate to perform otherwise. It was one such occasion recently when the door sign in a shop I visited indicated ‘Push’ when I pulled on my way out of the building that this question popped up and also made me realize how deep the habit has grown. But yes, the question remains - Is there an international etiquette of when to pull the door and when to push the door?

***

It was almost 7-8 years ago when I was getting down from my college bus that my lady friend beside me pointed to another person of her gender outside the bus wearing shirt and trousers with shirt neatly tucked in, and remarked ‘No girl ever tucks her shirt in. It looks so disgusting. Cannot she realize that?’ Although I did not whole heartedly agree to this vehemently expressed opinion nor had I noticed till that point of time anything amiss in girls wearing western formals with shirt tucked in – not that I am a keen observer and purist in terms of dress etiquette in the first place, far from it actually – it really hit home the point then that girls ought not to wear shirts tucked in, for my friend was indeed a purist in terms of dressing and what-not. Since that day, I confess, I haven’t noticed a single girl wearing Western formals or any combination of shirt and trousers with the shirt tucked in. Until today. Imagine my surprise when I saw not one but four girls wearing Western formals with their shirts tucked in! Not that they were looking disgusting as my friend felt, but it sort of rekindled the thought about dos and donts of female dressing. But this shirt tucking in – is this a new wave of female fashion statement starting?

***

The toughest question to answer these days is ‘How is married life?’ Everyone and anyone who knew you just got married ask this question and there really is no proper answer to this. I mean there you are just having lost that golden freedom of independence, of being care-free, of doing what you felt like doing without asking permission, of going where you want to go without telling anyone, of sitting hours together in front of laptop without being asked why, of being irresponsible, of not caring a damn about anyone else other than you and yet, at the same time, of having obtained a new sense of belongingness with somebody else, of having cared to, of having the joy of caring for someone, of being pampered, of being told what to do and what not to do, of sharing the sorrow with, of sharing the joy with, of doing things specially to see the joy in that person, of missing the person, of feeling responsible for that person, its really a mixed feeling of having gained something precious at the cost of having lost something precious too, for both of them are equally important at their respective phases in age and life. Well, I have time to think and write like I did now, but I cant think and say in so many words when I am asked that question, and hence I just say ‘Married life is nice’ inwardly thinking “Get married and you will know!” if the person is unmarried yet and “You know how it is after marriage and yet you ask!” if the person is married. I confess I have asked this question too but more as a conversation-starter rather than really getting down to reality and brass tacks. Come to think of it, I guess even I am asked for a conversation-starter and hence my reply is good enough without really taking to heart the question or the answer…

***